


Worlds Collide

by luckandillusions



Category: The Man in the High Castle (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, Double Agents, Drama, Espionage, F/M, Family Drama, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckandillusions/pseuds/luckandillusions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlotte Smith was the golden child; a nurse, a spy, a doting daughter, everything her father could want. Lottie followed in her father's footsteps, until one day she found her own path. Torn between two worlds, Charlotte is no longer just fighting for her own survival, but the future of a nation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

My taxi arrived at the SS Headquarters. It was chaos. I tossed a handful of marks at the driver and shouted, “Keep the change!” before hopping out of the vehicle. I ran down the stairs and into the building. The lobby was crowded, and the sirens outside were deafening. Finally I found the man I was looking for in front of the elevators, spattered in blood. I ran towards him and threw my arms around his neck. “Daddy!”

He stood there for a second and then hugged me back tightly. “Charlotte.” The moment was short lived. He grabbed my shoulders and held me at arms length. “Why aren’t you at the hospital?”

“They brought Erich in, I knew he was in your car,” I told him. “Dr. Porter let me leave early to find you.”

“You should be in that surgery,” he reprimanded. 

“I wasn’t in the right headspace,” I said defensively. “He’s in very capable hands. I’m just a surgical nurse; there are dozens of people just like me on hand.” He gave me a look that said a lecture was coming.

“Obergruppenführer,” an officer said, getting my father’s attention, sparing me for the moment. “We’ve identified the Semite you captured, he goes by Doc.”

“American Resistance?” I asked him. 

The officer looked from me to my father. “Charlotte asked a question,” my father said.

“We, um, don’t know, sir,” he said. He shifted uncomfortably. “He hasn’t told us anything yet.”

“Then make him.” Dad shook his head. The elevator doors opened and we both got on. “I vary my route every day, and yet this Semite found us.”

“How?” I asked. 

“I don’t know, but I intend to find out.”

“Are you going to put Athena on the case?” I asked him. The other two officers in the elevator glanced at me briefly at the mention of Athena. When I met their gaze, they quickly looked away.

“No, I’ll handle this myself.” The doors opened on his floor and we got off. 

“This is exactly what she’s trained for,” I said as we walked down the hall. As soon as we were in his office and the door was closed behind me, I rephrased my statement. “This is my area of expertise. Someone leaked your route to terrorists, let me find out who.”

“In your last four years with the SD you’ve uncovered a half dozen traitors in our ranks. The SS is grateful for your work,” he said. “But you’re not needed on this case.”

“Why bother creating Athena if you’re not going to use her when it matters the most?” I asked. “Someone tried to assassinate you, dad.”

“I am quite aware of the situation, Charlotte.” He shook his head. “If these terrorists are targeting me, they won’t be above targeting my family too. I’m not putting you in the crosshairs any more than necessary.”

I shook my head. “You’re impossible.”

“You came by your stubbornness honestly,” he said with a hint of a smile, but it was quickly wiped away. “I want you trained for field surgery as soon as possible. I would feel better knowing you can take care of yourself out there.”

“What do you think I spend my spare time doing? I definitely don’t spend it cooking and cleaning. You know mom actually got me a subscription to Good Housekeeping for my birthday? I’m about as far from their cover girls as you can get, though I suppose that was the point. You should be counting your blessing you’re finally going to marry me off.” 

He tilted his head. “You must be even better at your job than I thought. That boy is serious about marrying you. You don’t take a job working for your girl’s father unless you’re really ready to put a ring on her finger.”

“Please, Joe’s been ready to get married for ages. You’re the one that sent me on a six-month mission in Florida just to put off a proposal. Someone’s not ready to let his little girl go. That’s the only reason Joe’s off in god knows where, doing who knows what.” 

“You’re my oldest daughter, and one of my top agents,” he said. “I’m not letting you marry anyone until they’ve proven themselves to me.” 

I hesitated before finally asking. “Have you heard from him recently?”

“He’s checked in,” he told me. “You know I can’t tell you any more about his mission.”

I nodded. “I know.”

There was a knock on the door. “Obergruppenführer?”

“Just a moment,” he told me before going into the hall. I walked over to his desk and looked it over. There was a photo of mom, and another of me with my three younger siblings. Under a large book, a folder stuck out. 

I slid the folder out and flipped it open, glancing over my shoulder at the door. I looked back at the folder. Joe’s photo was paper clipped to the page. I scanned it, but there wasn’t anything here I didn’t already know. I flipped the page; this one had notes in my father’s handwriting. Off to one side was a phone number. I pushed up my sleeve and scribbled the number on my wrist with my father’s pen. Then stuck the folder back under the book, just as the door opened. 

I tugged my sleeve back down over the number as my father walked back into the room. “I shouldn’t keep you any longer,” I told him.

“Dinner this week?” He asked. “Your mother would love to see you.”

“I’ll be home for V-A Day, that’s only two weeks away.”

He nodded. “I’ll remind her.” I gave him a hug. “Be careful going home.”

“It’s Brooklyn, dad, not a war zone.” I laughed. “Try to hide your disgust.” I reached for the door. Looking over my shoulder, I added, “Tell mom I love her.”

OoOoO

When I got home I went straight to the phone. I pushed up my sleeve, revealing the phone number. I hadn’t had the chance to read any of the notes, but I was hoping this number was how they’d been contacting Joe. 

I dialed the number. It rang four times; I was beginning to think that I’d been wrong. Then he answered. “Hello?”

“Joe,” I sighed in relief.

“Lottie?” He asked confused. “How did you get this number?”

“Poked around in my dad’s office while he was out of the room,” I admitted.

“I thought Athena was off duty?” Joe teased.

“Athena is. However Charlotte Smith is very much active, and very much worried about her boyfriend.”

“No need to worry, I’m fine,” he told me. “Everything is good here, I promise.”

“Please, you should really know better than to lie to a spy.”

“There was a situation,” he confessed. “But it’s been handled. There’s really no need to worry. Hopefully I’ll be home next week. I’m just waiting on my contact to get in touch.”

“Good, I’m ready for you to be home. We’ve barely seen each other this year.”

“How’s everything back home?”

“Someone attempted to assassinate my dad today,” I informed him. “He wasn’t the only high ranking official to be targeted, not all of them were as lucky as he was.”

“Lottie, that’s– that’s awful, I’m sorry. But he’s okay?”

“Yeah, he’s alive. His aide is in critical condition, but Dr. Porter is optimistic he’ll pull through.”

“Any idea who coordinated the attacks?” Joe asked.

“No, but they had to get their information from an inside man,” I told him. “The routes change every day, someone would have had to feed the attackers the schedule.”

“Resistance?”

“I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” I groaned. “I’ll let you go. I’ll call again tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure we’re going to be sticking around here much longer,” he told me.

“We?” I asked.

“Just a girl I’ve been watching out for. I’ll call if I can, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, talk to you soon. Be careful. I love you, Joe.”

“Love you too.” He hung up and I sat there for a moment. Then I stood up and did the dishes. I always found doing the dishes was a good way to clear my head. It was also the only household chore I actually enjoyed.

When I was done I rang out the dishrag and took it over to the window. I draped the red cloth over the windowsill. I looked out over my view. It didn’t hold a candle to my father’s office view in the heart of Manhattan, but it was home.

OoOoO

That night I took a walk to Prospect Park. Personally I found it leagues better than Central Park. Tourists didn’t visit Brooklyn, so the park was always less crowded. But us locals loved it.

I walked under one of the arches. This one had a little alcove where a service door was. A man stepped out of the alcove as I walked by, his face concealed by the darkness. “How’s the weather back home?” I asked.

“Clear skies for me,” he answered. 

I raised an eyebrow, though I knew he couldn’t see. “Clear skies? I heard it’s been a bit cloudy in the city.” He started to speak, but I cut him off. “Did your wife try that recipe I gave her last week?”

He tilted his head. “No, she hasn’t yet. She hasn’t even gone to the store for the ingredients. She needs more than a week for that sort of thing.”

“Well, someone tried the recipe,” I insisted, my voice rising. “Are you sure you didn’t accidentally give it to someone else?”

“What are you accusing me of, Artemis?” He asked. 

My head snapped around, no one was here. It was the middle of the night; of course no one was here. There was no one to listen in. I dropped the act. “Have you not heard about the attempted assassinations today in Manhattan?”

He shook his head. “No, what happened?”

“What happened is that someone used my intel,” I snapped. “We have a timetable. I cannot have your people taking matters into their own hands and messing everything up.”

“I swear, no one’s used your intel. We haven’t even scouted all the routes. Like I said, this takes more time, you know that.”

“How well do you trust your men?” I asked. “Is it possible that one of them could have taken the intel and planned his own attack?”

“I handpicked this team after months of consideration. They’re the best of the best. None of them would ever even think of betraying our mission. We’re loyal to this cause.”

“If I find out that any of your people had a hand in this-“

“We know the consequences.”

I shook my head. “If you hear anything, you know how to contact me. The SS will randomize routes again after something like this. I’ll put out the signal again when I have the new schedule.” He nodded. I turned away, annoyed that I didn’t know anymore than I did this morning. “Liberty, equality, fraternity,” I mumbled. He repeated the words back to me in French. 

I walked out of the tunnel in the opposite direction. I stepped out into the night. Leaving Artemis behind me and become Charlotte Smith once more.


	2. Chapter 2

The next evening after work I stopped by the SS Headquarters. The doorman waved me into the building. Upstairs my father’s secretary barely glanced up as I walked into his office. No one wanted to be the person that held up the Obergruppenführer’s daughter.

“Good evening, Charlotte,” he said without even looking up. “What brings you by?”

“Any leads on the case?” I asked.

“I told you, Athena is not needed.”

“Okay, but your lovely daughter would like an update.” I sat down across from him. “Did you question the Semite?”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Yes, after an interesting morning. The ideas for some of these new interrogation techniques are beyond me.”

“I still swear by the classic techniques myself.” He smirked. “Did he give up anything?”

“Yes, but unfortunately not what we were looking for.” I interlaced my fingers and leaned my elbows on his desk. I put my chin on my hands and looked at him. “No.”

“I didn’t even ask anything yet.”

“The answer will still be no, regardless of the question.”

I leaned back, and rolled my eyes. “You’re right, I do come by my stubbornness honestly.”

“No hands on work in New York, you know that.”

“What about that guy a few years back?” I reminded him.

“You befriended a copy-editor, who happened to live next door to an SS agent, turned resistance operative.”

“I think you’re remembering wrong. I spotted a resistance operative, tracked him to his apartment and took him out. I met that cute copy-editor when I was scouting. Then we all pretended that I was going on a date, and just happened to use my sharp intellect to spot a spy next door.” 

That had been one of my first missions after I’d switched sides. It had sort of been on accident. The boy I’d killed was a loyal member of the resistance, but he wasn’t very good at keeping a secret. He’d let too much slip and he was a liability. So in an attempt to protect the resistance and prove myself to my father, I’d taken him out all by myself. I hadn’t wanted to kill him, but he asked me to. He didn’t want to be tortured because he didn’t want to give anyone up. He even told me where to find everything incriminating. I burned everything but an American flag. I told my dad the boy put up a fight.

“You know more than anyone how important it is for a spy to maintain their cover. You only work out of town, because it’s easier to stay anonymous. That was the deal.”

“Fine, but you at least have to keep me updated,” I told him. “I want to know who’s behind this just as much as you do.” I paused. “You don’t think it could be the infamous Artemis, do you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Charlotte. Artemis is a myth created by the American Resistance to scare us. They caught wind of Athena, and invented a counterpart. The Resistance is unorganized, and they know we’re aware of that. There is no single person orchestrating those people, mythological or otherwise.”

“You’re probably right.” I shrugged. He was to an extent. Artemis wasn’t the head of the resistance. I wasn’t actually sure where that myth had even started. I wasn’t even head of the East Coast Resistance, let alone the national one. But I was the best informant they had, and that had let me work my way up the ranks.

“Heard from Joe today?” I asked.

“No, not today.” He was a good liar, but he still had a tick. I didn’t push it. I’d try calling Joe when I got home. 

“I’ve been itching to get out of the city. You think the girls would want to go down to Philly for a few days?” I asked.

“Amy and Jennifer have school, and you have work.”

“A weekend trip, dad.” I rolled my eyes. “I know how many strings you had to pull to get me my job at the hospital. I’m not going to get myself fired.”

“If you want another case, we can see about that in a few months,” he told me. “Give it a bit more time for things to die down after the Florida case.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want another case, unless it’s one in the city. I just would like a short vacation, that’s all.”

“I’ll talk to your mother, a trip might have to wait until after V-A Day though.”

I shrugged. “That’s fine. It was just an idea.” I stood up. “I should probably get going. The apartment is a wreck and I’m trying to get it cleaned before Joe gets back.”

“You know Joe is only supposed to be gone a few weeks, not a few months.” 

“My apartment isn’t that messy, now you’re just being mean.” He smiled. “Lunch tomorrow?”

“Charlotte, you don’t need to check in on the case everyday. Things will resolve themselves.”

“Can’t a daughter meet her father for lunch because she cares?” I asked putting my hand over my heart.

“It’s the caring about the case I’m worried about.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” I said ignoring him and heading to the door. “Bye, dad, love you!”

OoOoO

When I returned to my apartment I tried calling Joe, but the phone just rang and rang. I knew my dad was hiding something, but I had to trust he’d tell me if Joe was in serious trouble. So I tried to sleep.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by my phone ringing. I rolled out of bed and groggily made my way across the room. “Hello?” I muttered into the receiver.

“Lottie, you’re up,” Joe said quietly.

“I am now,” I said. The sound of his voice was more than enough to push aside my drowsiness. “Something’s wrong.”

It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t try to answer it. “I’ve got a meeting tomorrow, I’m not sure I’ll make it out the other side.”

“You will,” I said firmly. “Have you talked to Obergruppenführer?”

“Your dad knows what I’m getting myself into.” There was a twinge of bitterness that didn’t escape my notice. “I’m gonna do my job, I don’t have any other choice.”

I didn’t argue with him. He was right, there was no other option. If he left, he not only would face the wrath of the Obergruppenführer, he would face the wrath of my father. Those were very different things and I wasn’t sure which one would be worse. Not to mention, telling him not to do anything dangerous was a little hypocritical. He’d always understood the dangers of my profession, now it was my turn. “Come back to me, Joe.”

“Always.” There was a pause. “I gotta get going. I’ve been gone too long. I love you, Lottie.”

“I love you too.”

For a moment the only sound was our breathing. Neither of us was eager to hang up on the other. Finally I heard the click of the phone, just as I was pulling the receiver from my ear. I sat in the living room chair for a moment, unsure of what to do. 

I sighed realizing there was no way I’d get any more sleep tonight. Instead I stood up, got dressed, and headed downstairs. The streets of Brooklyn were fairly deserted at this hour, but I managed to hail a cab eventually. “Where too, miss?”

“Grand Central, please. I’m going to Philly.”

OoOoO

It was morning when I arrived in Philadelphia. I walked into a café and took a deep breath; the smell of ground coffee filled my nostrils. I ordered a cup black, and then sat down in one of the chairs. After a few moments a man sat down across from me.

“How’s the weather back home?” He asked casually. There was the hint of a smile on his face.

“Overcast, to be honest,” I told him. I shook my head at him, but smiled just a bit. “Cut the crap, Henry. You know why I’m here.”

“Didn’t know you were coming.”

I shrugged. “Neither did I.”

“Theater’s free around noon.” I glanced at my watch. “We got a while. I’ll buy you another cup.”

For an hour we made conversation. It was light, nothing too detailed. It was the way you made conversation with a friend of a friend, not too familiar. I’d known Henry for three years, but he still didn’t know my name. Finally, before things could get uncomfortable, he walked me to the cinema.

On a case, I’d discovered films being smuggled by the Resistance. They weren’t supposed to watch them, but I was too curious to abide by the rules. One peek was enough to start me on a treasure hunt. I cast my net out and tried to find films wherever I could. I found some through the Resistance, who was smuggling them. And I found others through the SS, who was confiscating them.

Henry set up the new film in the projector, and then left the room. He bent the rules for me, but never for himself. I settled into one of the red velvet seats, in the empty theater. The film began rolling.

The opening scene was of a town. They always varied; some were shot newsreel style, others more cinematic. This one appeared to be the latter. It cut to a family, not unlike my own. Children did homework, while their mother cooked. There was a shot of the children working. A girl read an America history book, while her brother studied French. That was enough to be taboo. Those weren’t subjects we taught in the Greater Nazi Reich.

The following scenes were more snippets of daily life. I’d seen more exciting films, but I was still watching with rapt attention. Subtle differences, flags, signs, no soldiers patrolling streets. The film came to a stop. I was disappointed, not with the content but with the length.

I always hoped to find a clue within the videos, but I had yet to discover anything. Some showed violence, or celebrations, but never a clue to the identity of The Man In The High Castle. What I’d learned in three years was little more than my mentor had told me upon showing me my first film. The Man was an enigma. He collected the films for an unknown purpose. No one knew how the films were made or where they originated, they just were.

The more films I watched the closer I felt to learning something. I wasn’t sure what that something was. It was a thought that was just out of reach, like a word on the tip of your tongue. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was the key to everything.

OoOoO

A few days passed before I was able to get my hands on the new SS routes. The great thing about being the Obergruppenführer’s daughter was that no one questioned me.

I took my time doing the dishes. I counted the number of times I scrubbed each plate. It kept me from worrying about Joe, or the attempted assassination on my father. I dried the dishes, put them away, and walked over to the window with my red dishtowel.

Just as I was about to drape it over the sill, and signal my Resistance contact, the door opened behind me. I whirled around, Joe stood in the doorway. I all but ran over to him and threw my arms around his neck. The still wet dishtowel hit him in the back. He laughed. “God, I’ve missed you, Lottie.”

I knew better than to ask about his mission, he wouldn’t be allowed to tell me. So instead I just held onto him. “I was so worried.”

“I was only gone a few weeks,” he reminded me. “Imagine how I feel when you’re undercover for months.”

“How about we swear to never go undercover without each other from here on out?”

He laughed. “That works for me.” We both knew that was impractical, but we could dream. I walked over to the kitchen and tossed the dishtowel back onto the counter. I opened the fridge. “You hungry? We’ve got leftover noodles, leftover pizza, and leftover…no that’s gone bad.” I closed the fridge. “How about we go to that diner around the corner?”

“Sounds great, I’m starved.” I started to head toward the door, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. He put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. I wanted to tell him how relieved I was he was alive, that he was here with me right now. But I didn’t have the words.

“Your dad personally invited me to his house for V-A Day tomorrow,” he said after a moment. “Maybe he’s finally warming up to me.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Something had happened at his debriefing.

“Well, he better be. You’ll be his son-in-law before he knows it.” I put my hand on his chest. He leaned in and kissed me again. I giggled.

“Damn right.”


	3. Chapter 3

"I still can't believe you used to live here," Joe said. We both looked around my parent's neighborhood. If there was ever an opposite of Brooklyn, this was it.

"Yeah, me either. I'm still a Cincinnati girl at heart," I told him. "It's all a little rougher down there." We headed up the path to the house I'd spent my teenager years in. Joe adjusted his tie with the hand that wasn't holding a bouquet of flowers. I had told him not to bother with flowers, but he was adamant, so I helped him find my mother's favorite.

"How do I look?"

"Dashing," I teased. "Come on, it's just my parents." He just grunted in response.

My dad opened the door before we could knock. "Charlotte, Joe, there you are!"

"Sieg heil," Joe greeted him.

"Sieg heil," dad replied with a smile. He waved at the neighbors as he ushered us inside. "Charlotte cleans up nicely, doesn't she?"

"Mom would've had a cow if I wasn't dressed to the nines."

"Her look is the only thing she knows how to clean," Joe joked.

I turned on him quickly. "Oh no, not you too! Why don't you two bond over how much you love teasing me, I'm going to go find mom."

"She's in the kitchen, honey." I kissed my dad on the cheek and headed out of the room.

My mother was standing over the counter chopping vegetables. I admired her for a moment before announcing my presence. She was the opposite of me in every way, but she was also the best mother I could ever ask for. I cleared my throat and she looked up.

"Oh, Charlotte!" She sat down the knife she was holding, and came to give me a big hug. "I've missed you! Do you know how long it's been since you've come for a visit?"

"Too long, I know," I said. "I've just been so busy at the hospital."

She shook her head. "Is Joe with you?" I nodded. "Your father said he was coming. I'm so glad he made it back from his trip in time for the holiday."

"Me too."

"Any idea when he's going to pop the question?" She asked conspiratorially.

I laughed. "No, but I promise you will be the first to know." I pulled her by the arm toward the living room. "Speaking of, we should probably go save him from daddy."

"Kids? Your sister's here!" Mom called up the stairs as we walked by.

"Good to see you again, Mrs. Smith," Joe said. "These are for you."

She accepted the flowers with a smile. "They're beautiful, thank you! And please, call me Helen, I've told you."

The sound of the kids' footsteps running down the stairs sounded like a heard of elephants. Amy and Jennifer latched onto me immediately. I squeezed them both back. Mom pried them off and made them say hello to Joe. I hugged Thomas next, but let go when I saw my dog over his shoulder.

Max ran right up to me and I dropped down to my knees. I heard my mom tsk at my unladylike behavior. "Hey, buddy, it's been a while." He licked my face and I laughed. My mother shook her head. Joe bent down next to me, and Max put his front paws on his knees. I grinned at Joe, and he smiled back.

My mom roped me into helping cook, while my dad talked to Joe. For a while mom attempted to bring out the buried cooking skills she was sure I had. But eventually, she gave up and sent me outside to keep the kids entertained.

Thomas was the oldest of my younger siblings, but even he was barely more than half my age. The age gap had meant we were never close, and honestly I thought he was a little jealous. Dad had never treated me like a fragile doll, the way most daughters were treated. Girls didn't play a lot of sports, but dad made sure I was athletic. He paid for me to go to college, and encouraged me to get a job before settling down. He taught me everything he could about politics. Thomas drew the short end of the stick. By the time he was born, I was a firmly established daddy's girl.

Amy ran over holding out a doll. "You've got to come play, Jennifer's dolls are being mean to mine."

"Oh, that's a crisis," I said. "Of course I'll come save your dolls." She pulled me across the yard to the blanket they'd set up with their toys. I kicked my shoes off and joined them.

That's how Joe found me when he returned. I patted the blanket next to me. "Would you like to play with Priscilla, or Gertrude?" I asked, offering two dolls. The girls watched him expectantly.

"Hmm...Priscilla looks nice." He took the doll and sat next to me.

"Good choice, Gertrude is the stupid one," Amy told him.

"She is not!" Jennifer protested.

"Girls!" Mom called out the window, preventing a fight. "Come inside and wash your hands, its almost time to eat!" The girls ran inside leaving us alone.

"This is nice," I said. "I forget how relaxing it is here." Joe nodded. "Are you okay? You've been acting strange ever since you got back."

"I'm fine," he lied. I gave him a look. "It was a tough case, but I'm moving past it. At least I'm trying to."

"I know how those go." I nodded. "I know you're not supposed to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to break the rules." He gave me a sad smile.

"Charlotte, Joe, food's ready!" My mom called from the patio. Joe hopped to his feet and offered me a hand to pull me up. For a moment we stayed there holding hands. Then I kissed him on the cheek and practically skipped to the table, I was starved.

OoOoO

While I was with my mother, Joe and my father had gone to the airport. They returned with one of my father's old friends, Rudolph. Apparently his flight to Berlin had been delayed. Dad acted happy to see him, eager to relive the old days. But I knew when my dad was lying, even when no one else did. Rudolph was German and had a thick accent. He told us stories about dad while we ate. Everyone was enthralled. Even I managed to forget the mystery of my father's ulterior motives.

"Wow, dad, sounds like you were a terror." I laughed, following a particularly hilarious story about dad stealing a boat.

"He was," Rudolph agreed. "But he appears to be reformed."

"Oh, don't let him fool you," mom said with a laugh. "He's more than a handful. Charlotte chose well, Joe's such a polite young man."

"Yeah, Charlotte's the terror!" Jennifer teased from across the table. I dipped my fingers in my water glass and flicked some at her.

"How did the two of you meet?" Rudolph asked.

Joe and I shared a look, I laughed. "You wanna tell it?" I asked.

Joe shook his head. "It was at the deli believe it or not. Lottie had just moved to Brooklyn and she was already in an argument with a shopkeeper. There was some fancy sausage she had to have, but the guy insisted they didn't carry it."

"Turns out it had two names, so I was right," I muttered.

"Being the knight in shinning armor-" I scoffed. He shook his head. "I cleared it all up and offered to buy her a sandwich."

"Bratwurst," I corrected. "That was why it was funny. We met at the deli and talked over bratwurst."

"Apparently I should've let her tell it."

Rudolph looked amused. "How long have you been together?"

"Almost four years," I said.

He glanced at my dad. "I assume your father has something to do with there being no ring on your finger." Joe shifted uncomfortably. "No one but the best for his little girl."

Dad stood up. "Joe is a fine young man," he said as he walked by. He patted Joe on the shoulder. "The broadcast should be starting soon. I'll go turn the TV on."

Mom nodded and stood up as well. "I'll clean up. Kids, help me clear the table." Amy, Jennifer, and Thomas got to work reluctantly. My mother gave me a pointed look. "You too, Charlotte. You're still a kid to me." I fought back an eye roll but helped my siblings pick up the dirty dishes.

"Let me help," Joe offered, standing up. But my mother waved a napkin at him, and he sat back down.

"Nonsense, you're a guest."

I dropped the dishes in the sink and returned to find my mother talking to Joe. "I hope you haven't been bother Joe with engagement party ideas again," I said, coming up behind her.

She and Joe laughed. "No, but I did offer to let the two of you stay the night. It's an awful long way back to the city."

I raised an eyebrow. "You just want me away from Brooklyn for as long as possible."

She smiled. "Guilty." She looked back at Joe. "We have plenty of room, I'll let the two of you decide."

"It's time!" Dad called from the house. The three of us joined the family in the living room. Where the Führer's speech in Berlin had already begun. Mom dragged a chair from the dining room and put it next to the couch. I motioned for Joe to sit, while I folded my legs underneath me and sat on the floor. I leaned against him.

For a while we watched in silence. The voiceover, translating the speech, echoed the Reich's official narrative of the war. America had been liberated by Germany. We'd been saved from ourselves. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Helen, would you get some snacks?" My father asked quietly. She started to stand up, but Joe beat her too it.

I leaned forward to let him stand. "I'll go." I glanced back and saw his head swivel around, looking for something. I glanced back at my family. No one was paying attention. When I turned back, Joe had disappeared behind a corner. I waited a few moments, and then I got up and followed.

He wasn't in the kitchen. I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and poured out some pretzels. I ate a few as I walked down the hall. The door to my father's study was open. I stepped in and found Joe digging through his drawers. He glanced up, eyes wide. He relaxed when he realized it was only me.

"What are you looking for?" I asked, popping another pretzel into my mouth.

"The key to that cabinet."

"I'll get it later," I told him. "Once everyone's gone to bed." I nodded back toward the living room. "Let's go before my mother comes to check on us."

As we walked back into the living room, I smudged my lipstick with my thumb. As I sat back down, I glanced over at my mom. She shook her head, but smiled knowingly. Then pointed to her lips. As I fixed the smudge, I pretended to look embarrassed.

OoOoO

After the speech, we drank whisky. My mother gave me a disapproving glance as I sat on the couch with a glass. I excused myself mid-conversation to smoke outside, warranting a second disapproving look. After a while Joe joined me, I offered him a cigarette from my pack.

"You gonna tell me why you want in my dad's cabinet?" I asked.

"Tonight," he promised. I nodded and took a drag from my cigarette. "Your dad's friend would be fun at Shirley's, I think he could start a few fights." I smirked thinking of late nights in the smoky pup down the street from our apartment.

"They talk about the war?" I asked. Joe nodded. "You don't talk about the war with John Smith." I contemplated how to ask what controversial thing Rudolph had said. But before I could come up with an unsuspicious way, my father walked out of the house toward us.

He ruffled my hair, I felt like a little kid again. That was the best thing about coming home. Dad was different here. He wasn't Obergruppenführer, he was just dad. The moment didn't last for long. "What do you think about Rudolph?" He asked me.

"He seems nice," I said with a shrug. "I particularly liked that boat story he told. Why don't you trust him?"

For a millisecond he looked disconcerted that I had read him so easily. Then he remembered whom he was dealing with. "He's lying about why he was in the Pacific States. He was using a fake name. His connecting flight wasn't delayed, he was."

"You knew all day?" Joe asked him. He nodded.

"That's how you knew he'd be at the airport," I said. "I was wondering. I didn't hear you get a call."

"We weren't going to pick up Helen's mother?" Joe asked.

"Grandmother's been dead for years," I said.

"So Helen knew about Rudolph?"

Dad nodded. "You must trust the woman in your life with your life, Joe." He glanced at me. "And vice versa, as I'm sure you've already learned. The less I told the two of you, the less he'd suspect. I was hoping he'd confide in me about his actual mission in the Pacific States."

"You want me to question him?" I asked.

He shook his head. "It's too late for that. It wouldn't do to expose you now. I don't know what steps to take next. During the war we performed duties that bond men for life. I want to believe he's a good man. But my head tells me to take him into a field, interrogate him, and then shoot him in the fucking face."

I'd never seen my father like this. I'd seen him angry, but this was different. He was hurt. He wasn't typically the sort to show vulnerability. "You have to turn him in, he could be a danger to society," I told him. "Call the SS, have them bring him in. Let someone else do the interrogating, someone who can be objective."

He nodded. "You're right." He squeezed my shoulder for a moment, and then stood. I watched him walk back into the house. His head was held high. He looked confident in this decision. But I could see right though him.


	4. Chapter 4

I was tucking Amy and Jennifer into bed when I heard the car pull up outside. I didn't look outside, but I knew it was the SS for Rudolph. Downstairs I could just hear my parents wishing him a good night. I felt neither relief nor sadness at the knowledge I'd been the one to seal his fate. Years of similar situations had trained me well. This was hardly the most morally ambiguous.

I read to the girls until I heard my parents retire to their room. I joined Joe in the living room. I walked over to the shelf and retrieved the cabinet key from its hiding place. "Now, what are we looking for?"

"Your dad brought home some files, I think they're related to the case I was working," he explained. "They say Grasshopper." I was suddenly on high alert. _The Grasshopper Lies Heavy_ was the title given to the series of Resistance films. I'd gotten my hands on films through the SS, but never on any official basis. I'd never read any files on them. My job was to root out traitors, not track down films. Maybe an SS file on the films was the missing piece I needed to finally solve that mystery.

I unlocked the cabinet for Joe. He dug through the files until he found the one he was looking for. But when he opened it, it was empty. I knew immediately we'd walked into a trap. The lights flicked on. Joe and I whirled around to see my father standing in the doorway. "Dad, I can explain."

"No need, Charlotte." He shook his head. "I really wanted to be wrong about you, Joe. But here we are, in my office, in the middle of the night. You even dragged my daughter into it. I know you've been lying to me. Now it's truth time."

"What do you want to know?" Joe asked quietly.

"Tell me about the girl."

Joe sighed, but didn't hesitate. "Her name was Juliana Crain, she had a film. She thought the SD agent was her contact. When they met, he tried to kill her, but she put up a fight. He fell over the bridge. I helped her hide the body to keep my cover intact. That's all."

"The body burned to a crisp in the car, that was her?"

"No," Joe choked out. "We wanted it to look like it was her."

"You wanted to protect her, why?"

"She reminded me of Lottie." My father glanced at me, then back to Joe. "But she didn't know what she was getting herself into."

"Get your things, both of you."

"Dad, please-"

"Charlotte, get your things," he snapped. He turned and headed into the hallway. I reached for Joe's hand and intertwined my fingers with his. My father opened the front door and an SS officer stepped in. I recognized him from the office. He'd always looked so condescending. If only he knew who I really was. Now he looked at me and smirked.

I tightened my grip on Joe's hand. "He always wanted it to end like this," I whispered. "But I won't let him take you."

"Don't do anything stupid, Lottie," Joe whispered. "I did this to myself. You're his daughter, he won't hurt you unless he has no choice."

"Joe-"

He cut me off. "No matter what happens, just remember I love you."

OoOoO

I spent three hours waiting outside my father's office. To say I was a mess would be putting it lightly. I only held out hope because as long as Joe was in that office, I knew he was alive. Unless there was a secret back exit I didn't know about. I wouldn't put that past my father.

Finally the doors opened, the condescending officer appeared. He smirked again. I wanted to sock him in the mouth and wipe it off his face. "Obergruppenführer wants to see you."

I stood up slowly and walked into the room. The officer followed behind me. "You can wait outside," my father told him. I wanted to turn around and smirk at him, but I fought the urge. "Come, sit." I took a seat next to Joe. I held my breath waiting to hear his next words. "I've decided to give Joe a second chance."

"Thank you, I'm-" He held up a hand, cutting me off.

"On one condition. Joe will be reporting to the Pacific States to retrieve a film from Juliana Crain. If he succeeds, I will forget this incident." I swallowed hard. "Also, Athena will be accompanying him. This is not your usual MO, but I trust you can handle it."

I nodded. "Of course."

"Good. As you are now on this case, you will have full access to the records of Joe's mission in Canon City. But I'm sure Joe will catch you up as needed." He waved us away. "You're both free to go. I expect frequent updates."

OoOoO

That night Joe was expecting a call from Juliana to discuss the film. So I took the opportunity to signal my Resistance contact. We met under the usual arch in Prospect Park. It was a Saturday, which meant there was a few stragglers even this late.

"How's the weather back home?" The man asked from the shadows.

"I don't have time for formalities," I said quietly. I glanced toward the entrance. No one was nearby but still I spoke quickly. "I'm going to be out of touch for a bit," I told him. "This one isn't like the other times, I might not come back." I reached into the pocket of my cigarette pants, and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Here are the new routes. I trust your men will be able to carry out our plan, with or without me?"

He nodded. "We'll do out best."

"Good, that's all I needed."

I turned to leave, but he stopped me. "Is there anything the Resistance can do to help you?"

I contemplated for a moment. "Send word to the West Coast Resistance, Artemis is coming."

OoOoO

Early the next morning we packed our things and headed to the Pacific States. By the time we landed I had almost forgotten the events of yesterday. I was back at work and I was with Joe. Everything was going to be okay. In four years, I'd never failed to complete a mission. This would be no different.

We walked out of the airport. It wasn't as sunny as I expected it to be. I always imagined California to look like the postcards. But today was a little rainy. Joe walked to the street to hail a cab, but he was quickly shoved back by a Japanese officer. "Japanese first!" The man snapped and pushed Joe toward a line I hadn't even noticed.

We joined the other white travelers in line. "Well, we're certainly not in Kansas anymore."

"Think of it as a cultural experience."

"Florida was enough cultural experience for me." I shook my head. "Florida is a strange place." Joe shook his head. "You can laugh but I've never seen that many elderly people in my life."

OoOoO

Joe left me at the hotel while he went to track down Juliana. It was my idea to stay behind. I didn't want to spook her. Plus I wasn't used to working with others, I preferred to scope things out myself. I did my usual tour of the area, mapping escape routes and taking note of interesting people. It was routine, which was refreshing as most of this was so off book.

Joe returned that afternoon with takeout. "You found her?" I asked. He nodded. I dug through the bags and picked a dumpling out of its box. "Think she'll set us up with her contact?" I sat down on the couch.

"She said she'd try," he said. "If not, you have ideas, I'm sure."

"Plenty, I'll find them this week on my own if I need to," I assured him. I popped the dumpling in my mouth. "Oh, this is worlds better than the Japanese takeout in Brooklyn."

He laughed as I talked with my mouth full. "More authentic."

A knock on the door interrupted my second bite. I turned to look. Joe opened it, and a woman stepped in. "They asked me to bring them to you," she said. A man and a woman followed behind her.

Joe recognized the man. "Wasn't expecting to see you here."

"That makes two of us," the man replied. I decided it must be Lem, Joe's contact from Canon City. Joe had given me all the information on the plane. The girl was Juliana. The woman had to be West Coast Resistance. "Who's she?" Lem asked, nodding toward me.

"Joe's girlfriend, couldn't pass up a trip out west," I said cheerfully. The woman narrowed her eyes.

"I told them you had resources," Juliana told Joe, bringing attention back to the matter at hand. I took the opportunity to finish my dumpling.

Joe nodded "What do you need?"

"One hundred thousand yen," the woman replied.

"Damn," I whispered. "What do you need that kind of money for?"

The woman regarded me suspiciously, but decided I could be trusted. "To pay the Yakuza." Juliana made a shocked noise. "They took the film from the man who was supposed to give it to us."

"Can you get that much?" Lem asked.

I nodded. "We can get it."

The woman went to arrange the meeting with the Yakuza. The rest of us waited in the hotel room. I offered to share my takeout with everyone, but apparently I was the only one who could eat at a time like this. Amateurs.

Finally the woman returned, everyone but me stood when she came in. "Okay, we have a deal. Tonight at 10, place called the Bamboo Palace. Can you get the money by then?" Joe nodded.

"Wait a second, the Yakuza would sooner kill you than hand over that film," Juliana said.

"We'll take our chances," Lem said. My heart beat a little faster at the thought of a fight. Dad would be proud. Lem and the woman left. Juliana stood to leave. She nodded at me as she headed toward the door. Joe followed her to say his goodbyes.

"You want to call your dad, or should I?" Joe asked when he returned.

I sighed. "I'll do it." I moved over to the bed, and dialed the home number on the phone. My mother answered on the third ring. "Hey, mom. Can you put dad on? Thanks."

"You've made contact?"

"No, just thought I'd ring you up for a chat," I said deadpan. "Of course, we made contact. Joe's girl pulled through. But, we've got a bit of an issue."

"Go on."

"Turns out the Resistance lost the film. The Yakuza's got it," I explained. "They're willing to sell, for a price. The Resistance doesn't have the money to buy it back, but Athena does."

"How much?"

"Hundred thousand yen."

"If I do this, you guarantee they uphold their end. You understand?"

"Oh, I'm itching for a fight," I told him. "Trust me, they'll follow through."

I could almost see his thinking face. Furrowed brows, slightly pursed lips. "Alright, I'll transfer the funds to the embassy. Get there without being seen."

"Got it," I told him.

"Be careful."

I hung up without saying anything else. "He's sending the money. I'll go get it and we can meet downstairs."

"You're not going to the club," Joe said.

"Excuse me?"

Joe walked over to me. "It's my fault that we're here. It's up to me to clean this up."

"No offense, Joe, but this is my job. I've been doing this for years. I'm better prepared for this." I shook my head. "I'm going."

"Lottie, please. Just this once, don't be stubborn. Let me do this." I wanted to protest, but he cut me off by kissing me. I put one of my hands on his neck and pulled him closer. "Your dad is testing me. Let me show him that I deserve you."

"You don't owe him anything," I said. "I'm starting to realize that neither do I. He's orchestrated my life for as long as I can remember. It's time I grow up and chose my own destiny."

"Chose your destiny tomorrow. But tonight, let me do this for us."

I kissed him again. I fell back against the bed. I'd been Athena for far too long, maybe it was time I let her go. "Come back to me, Joe."

"Always."

OoOoO

I was sitting on the couch watching TV when a sudden banging on the door almost gave me a heart attack. I jumped up and walked over to the door. Through the peephole I saw Juliana in the hall. I opened the door and she barged in. "It's Lottie, right?" I nodded. "Listen, you've got to come with me. I don't know how much you know about all this, but Joe's in danger."

"What? What's going on?"

"The Kempeitai know the Yakuza is selling the film tonight," she said hurriedly. " It's a trap."

I turned around and ran back over to the desk. "What are you-" I turned around holding a knife. "Good idea."

"Let's go."

Juliana led the way to the club. We practically ran the whole way, only slowing when a patrol car passed us once. We arrived at the club and hurried inside. I grabbed Juliana's arm and made her slow down. If we looked too suspicious we'd never make it out.

Once inside she looked around frantically. I quickly scanned the coat rack. Joe's coat was missing. Maybe we'd missed him. Perhaps he already escaped. I was just about to tell Juliana as much when I spotted him. He saw me at the same time and we both quickly covered the distance between each other. "What happened to letting me handle this?" He asked quietly.

"It's a trap, we've got to get out of here," I told him. The mood in the club changed very quickly. My head snapped toward the stairs and I saw a group of officers running down them. Juliana grabbed my arm, yanking me toward a hallway. Joe was right behind me.

We ran through the kitchens, and out into an alley. I took the lead once we were outside, checking for Kempeitai. We were almost to the street, almost free, when a black car pulled up. A handful of men in suits stepped out, each holding a gun. I slowly put my hands up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Juliana and Joe do the same. Maybe I was gonna get that fight after all.


	5. Chapter 5

When our blindfolds were finally removed, we were in some storage room. The doors closed behind us and I immediately started looking for a way out. I could climb the shelves to get to the windows, but they were probably too small to climb through. I started checking the wall for a vent.

“You act like you’ve done this before,” Juliana murmured.

I glanced over. “Not exactly.”

“Are you East Coast Resistance too?” She asked. “Joe never mentioned-“

“He didn’t know,” I said. “Have you heard of Artemis?”

She shook her head. “I’m sort of new to all this.”

“Supposedly Artemis is the leader of the East Coast Resistance,” Joe told her. “But that’s just some story. No one really knows if she even exists.”

“Firstly, I am not the leader of the East Coast Resistance,” I said. “Secondly, I exist.” Joe stared at me.

“Some good that does us in here,” Juliana muttered. “Maybe if you’d told Lem and Karen before.”

“Not exactly the sort of thing I advertise,” I countered. “That’s how I’m still alive.”

The door opened suddenly, the Yakuza men appeared. “You,” they pointed at Juliana. “Come with us.” She backed away and they came into the room after her. They grabbed her by the arms and started dragging her toward the door.

“Let her go!” I yelled. They barely even glanced at me. Juliana struggled against them. Joe tried to pull her back, but the Yakuza pushed him off. I felt my pocket. They hadn’t thought to search us.

I pulled out my knife and ran toward one of the men, and stabbed him in the stomach. He stumbled back, letting go of Juliana. But he was simply replaced by another man. I tried to fight him off, but he grabbed my arms. “Lottie!” Joe called as I was dragged from the room. I watched as the door was slammed in his face.

Juliana and I were taken to a large warehouse building. We were near the harbor apparently. I could see shipping containers and smell salt water. “They paid for one girl, not both,” a gray haired man said as we were brought in. Lem and Karen were standing next to him. They looked surprised to see me.

“She stabbed one our men,” the man holding me said. “What should we do with her?”

Before the gray haired man could speak, Karen pulled an envelope from her coat. “I have five thousand yen.”

The man laughed. “Why would I accept such a low amount when you paid double for this one.”

“She’s not Resistance, she’s just a girl. Don’t know how she got here, but we don’t know her,” Karen said. “You could try turning her in, but what charges would they arrest her on. She looks like a handful, anyway. You might lose an ear trying to get her to the authorities.” The man holding my arm temporarily released me to touch his ear.

“Fine,” the grey haired man said, waving us away. “Take the girls and get out.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Lem asked. “The film?”

“It no longer belongs to you.”

“We paid for it last night,” Karen argued. As they argued I scoped out the warehouse. There was a desk in the back. I could just see the film sitting on it.

“That was before you brought the Kempeitai into my place of business. We will accept that payment as compensation. If you can produce the same amount again…”

Karen shook her head. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, what about Joe?” I asked.

“We used all our money on Juliana, and you.”

Juliana turned to the grey haired man. “I’ll get you ten thousand yen.”

“Your friend is East Coast Resistance. He is worth much more than that.” The man thought for a moment. “Fifty thousand yen.”

“I’ll get it,” Juliana told him. She turned and walked out of warehouse, Lem and Karen followed. I gave one last glance to the building before following them.

Once we were far enough away, Juliana stopped walking. “I don’t know how to get that kind of money,” she said quietly. She looked up at me. “I’m sorry.”

“We can’t give up yet.” I shook my head. “I’ll try my connections, maybe I can do something.” I turned back to Lem and Karen. “Thanks for springing me, even if you weren’t intending to.” They both nodded. I headed off toward the road. Time to call home.

OoOoO

“No,” he said simply.

“What do you mean, no?” I demanded. “It’s Joe.”

“Exactly, Charlotte,” my father said. “He brought this upon himself.”

“The film is in that building, it’s so close,” I protested.

“Then get the film, but I’m not sending you more money. For the film, or for Joe.” I had no words. For twenty-six years I’d always had my father on my side. For the first time, I was alone.

“Fine, I don’t need your help. I’ll get Joe and the film myself.”

“That’s my girl.” I let out a long, slow breath to keep my cool. Then I hung up.

I gathered everything important from the room. I wasn’t sure if we’d be coming back here again. There hadn’t been much in my bag, so I left it, only keeping the necessities.

I took the bus to a flower shop a few minutes away. I’d seen the business card for the place in Lem’s wallet, which I may or may not have searched while he was in my room. It seemed out of place, and I had a feeling that was for a reason. I went around the back when I arrived. I recognized the bus parked in the back, it was Karen’s.

“I knew it was just a matter of time before you stopped by,” Karen said.

“I didn’t introduce myself properly before,” I said. “I’m Artemis.”

She nodded, unsurprised. “We received word from the East Coast Resistance. I thought for a moment Joe was Artemis. But Lem assured me that couldn’t be. So that left you. You aren’t what I was expecting?”

“What were you expecting?”

“Someone older, for one.” She shook her head. “But you attacked that Yakuza guard just to save Juliana. You’ve got guts, kid.”

“I’m going to get that film back,” I told her. “And I’m getting Joe out of there, he’s one of mine.”

“We can’t help you.” She opened a box in the back of her bus. From it she pulled out a handgun. “But I can give you this.”

OoOoO

I avoided the Yakuza men as I made my way to the back of the warehouse. There was a fan behind the desk, which was my ticket inside. I was pretty sure I could get in and out without causing too much of a ruckus. I was going to slip in, steal the film, and then get Joe. Once I had him, then we could make a ruckus.

I wiggled the fan off the wall, opening a hole into the warehouse. Just as I was about to jump in, I heard gunshots. I leapt inside just in time to see Joe threatening the grey haired man. “Give it to me,” he said. The man grabbed the film off the table and handed it to him. Joe hit the man in the head with the handle of his gun. The man crumbled to the floor.

“This way!” I called to him. Joe looked up, noticing me for the first time. Another man, who looked completely bewildered, sprinted toward me. I ushered him through the hole in the wall. I pushed Joe through, as the main door opened. I shot at the guards pouring in, and then quickly followed Joe outside.

I led Joe and the other guy away from the Yakuza. Once we were far enough away I came to a stop. “Damn, okay, that was not how I planned that at all,” I murmured. “I really prefer working alone.” I looked at the dark haired man. “Who’re you?”

“Frank, Juliana sent me.” He shook his head. “What the hell was that?”

“I needed that film,” Joe said calmly.

I nodded in agreement. “I had planned to slip in, get it, and then break you out. But this way worked too, I suppose.”

“You suppose?” Frank asked incredulously. “Do you know what you just did? That was the Yakuza. I live here!”

“My suggestion would be to get out of town,” I quipped.

He shook his head, and grabbed the gun out of Joe’s hands. “Thanks for using up all the bullets.” He stormed off in opposite direction.

“He’s sort of got a point, the Yakuza’s gonna be looking for us. We’ve got the film, it’s time to go.”

“We’ve gotta go back to the hotel first,” Joe said.

“I grabbed our ID papers and all that,” I told him.

He shook his head. “No, there’s something else.” I furrowed my brows. I didn’t know what could be important enough to risk our lives for. “I’ll be quick.”

“Fine,” I relented. “But then we’re out of here. I much prefer California in the postcards.”

OoOoO

Joe wouldn’t tell me what was so important we had to backtrack, but he was in and out fast. To avoid being seen, we left out a back alley. But, there were Kempeitai everywhere. We turned, and almost ran right into a group of them. We both looked down and hurried away, but we must have looked suspicious. One of them started tailing us. We ignored him, walking faster.

“You still have that gun, just in case?” He asked. I nodded. “Where’d you get it?”

“Karen, it was the least she could do for Artemis.”

“That was good thinking, using Artemis as a cover,” Joe said. “I never would’ve come up with that. I guess that’s why you’re the spy.”

“It wasn’t a cover,” I admitted.

“What?”

“I _am_ Artemis, Joe.” He just stared at me, waiting for me to laugh and say I was joking. Before I could say anything else, Juliana and Frank were in front of us. I grabbed Juliana’s shoulders and spun her around. “Not that way!” The four of us kept walking.

“What are you doing here?” Joe hissed.

“They’re checking identification papers at the bus station,” Frank told us. “We need your help. Juliana said you had connections.” He looked pointedly at me.

“Can’t you ask Lem and Karen?” I asked. “I’m not sure if-“

“Please, Lottie,” Juliana said.

I sighed. “We’ll try. Thank you for trying to get Joe out of there, both of you.”

The Kempeitai officer was still behind us, and he was getting closer. “He wants us to stop,” Juliana translated.

Joe took the film out of his jacket and handed it to me. “Get out of here. I’ll lose him. Where can we meet?”

“There’s a school around the corner,” Frank answered. “It’ll be closed today.”

Joe took off in a sprint and the officer followed. I slipped the film into my coat pocket. Frank nodded for us to follow him. I touched Juliana’s arm, and she hung back a bit. “Listen, my contact…they didn’t even want to help me with Joe. They’re a results-at-any-cost kind of person. I don’t want to get your hopes up, okay? We might not be able to get you out of here.” She nodded. She looked scared. “We’ll do what we can.”

The doors to the school were locked. Frank started to break the window, but I pushed him aside and dropped down next to the doorknob. I slid a lock pick from my pocket and fiddled with the door for a moment. It popped open. “After you.”

Inside, we waited. It seemed like ages passed. The walls were covered with kids’ art. It was all Pacific States propaganda. I twirled the film around in my hands, nervously. “What makes that film so special?” Juliana asked. “Do you know?”

I shook my head. “No, but I know how we can find out. Where’s the assembly hall?”

OoOoO

I struggled with loading the film into the projector for a few moments before Frank took over. “I usually have a guy who does this for me,” I murmured. He gave me an odd look. Juliana unrolled the screen, before joining us.

“Have you seen one before?” I asked Juliana.

She nodded. “One of the Allies winning the war.”

I smiled. “I like those the best.”

“You’ve seen a lot?”

“Yeah, I’ve lost track. Usually–“ The words died when the first shot appeared on screen. An atomic bomb. “These are the worst,” I whispered. The next shot was of the Golden Gate Bridge, or at least what was left of it. Juliana and Frank shared a look.

The film went on this way. It showed bones, ruins, and nuclear shadows. Then it cut to a group of men being lined up. They were pushed to their knees. I didn’t want to watch. I knew how this ended, yet I couldn’t look away. The camera focused on the last man. “That’s me,” Frank whispered. I had never recognized a person in a film before.

The camera panned down the line as each man was shot. Finally the gun was pressed to the back of Frank’s head. The real Frank jumped when the man on screen pulled the trigger. Then the camera backed up, revealing the shooter slowly. I recognized the uniform, Nazi. He seemed unbothered by the proceedings. He lit a cigarette with another soldier. It was Joe.

The film ended. Juliana and Frank both turned to look at me. I stared at the screen blankly. “What was that?” Frank asked me.

I shook my head. “I don’t know, I’ve never– I haven’t recognized anyone in them before.” Frank took the film off the projector and put it back in the case. The door opened and we all jumped.

I turned to see Joe heading toward us. “Bad news, I didn’t find a way out.” He looked between each of us. “Something wrong?” Juliana shook her head. He looked unconvinced. “Okay, then give me the film.”

“No,” Frank said. Joe glanced at the film in his hand. He lunged for it. Frank pushed him back into the stage. The film went flying.

“Stop it!” I shouted. Juliana went for the film.

Frank slammed Joe’s head into the stage. “You Nazi fuck!”

I pulled Frank off Joe. Juliana grabbed Joe’s arm. “Tell me it isn’t true.” He didn’t say anything. I felt Frank tensing up and squeezed his arms tighter. Juliana shoved Joe. “Please, tell me!”

“We both are!” I said finally. She whirled on me. Frank shook me off.

“But you said-“

“I am Artemis, but I’m also an SS spy.”

She looked on the verge of tears. She turned back to Joe. “I trusted you!” He took the film out of her hands. She flinched. Joe turned away, walking toward the door without even checking to see if I was with him. I gave Frank and Juliana one last look before following him.


	6. Chapter 6

Joe and I were both silent the entire way to the Embassy. We presented our ID papers, and were told they had been expecting us. We were escorted up to a conference room to wait. Joe picked up a book on Berlin architecture, avoiding my stare. "Joe, talk to me," I pleaded.

"I'm thinking," he said finally.

"Well, think out loud."

"How long?" He asked after a moment. And then, "Does your dad know?"

"Years, Joe. It happened just before I met you. And no, of course not. I'm a spy, I know what I'm doing."

"You're a double agent," he whispered, as if someone was listening.

"Yeah." I watched him. I had no idea what he was thinking. For once, my training was failing me. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to put you in danger. Before this week, only three people had seen Artemis. No one knew Artemis and Charlotte Smith were the same person."

"You trusted me with Athena."

"I trust you with Artemis too, but I was scared. I didn't know if you'd understand. I didn't want to lose you." I shook my head. "But now, I've seen what you've done for Juliana. I want to tell you everything."

"How'd it start?"

"A few years back, I was on a case in New Berlin. I'd only been Athena for a year or so, but I was overconfident. I thought I had my mark right where I wanted him, turns out he was setting me up. He didn't try to hurt me. He only wanted to change my mind. He showed me one of the films," I explained. "It showed America winning the war, and life after. It was amazing. After that I started helping the Resistance."

"With smuggling the films?"

I shook my head. "I provided intel. In return I got to see the films before they were passed on. My men brought me info on The Man In The High Castle. Those films are more than fiction. I don't know how, but they're real, Joe."

"Juliana thinks so too."

I nodded. "That film today, Frank was in it, and so were you. I know it wasn't you, but it _was_. There's no way they made that up."

"That doesn't make sense, Lottie." He was shaking his head.

"It sounds crazy, I know it does. But, what if...what if there's another world out there? Where we won the war?"

"I think you've been reading too many books." I stared at him. "Or maybe your right, but...I don't know Lottie."

"I've spent years trying to figure out this puzzle. I think this film is the key to cracking it." He still looked unconvinced. "Now I-" The door opened, cutting me off.

"Ah, sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Ambassador Reiss and this is Oberfüher Diels. We've booked you tickets on the next rocket back to New York, you leave in a few hours." He smiled at us. "Make yourself comfortable here, I have other meetings to attend to."

The Ambassador left us with the Oberfüher. "So, Mr. Blake, you report directly to Obergruppenführer Smith?" Joe nodded. Diels side-eyed me. He was probably wondering why my dad had let me come to the Pacific States and what strings he'd had to pull. "Was your mission here successful?" He pressed.

"I can't really talk about that, sir."

"Of course." Diels looked at us both, smiled, and left the room. Something was definitely weird about all this, but I wasn't ready to sound the alarm bells just yet.

Joe and I resumed our waiting. Then the phone rang. We both stared at it for a moment. Finally I picked up the receiver. "Ambassador Reiss?" I recognized the voice. It was the condescending SS agent who worked for my father.

"Hello, Major Klemm."

"Ms. Smith?" He asked confused. "What are you doing in the Pacific States?"

"I'm not sure if this is official Athena business or not, but...let's go with that." There was a long stunned silence. Dad wouldn't approve, but since I was blowing my covers left and right lately, I couldn't resist.

"I-I'm sorry, I was not aware. Is Joe Blake with you?"

"Present and accounted for. We've been waiting here for ages. My dad's taking his sweet time with the travel arrangements."

"We weren't aware you had arrived at the embassy," he said. "Obergruppenführer Smith left word, Diels reports directly to Heydrich. He's not to be trusted. Stay away from him."

The door opened. Diels walked in. I lowered the phone before he could see it, but didn't hang up so they could hear on the other end. "Oberfüher Diels, please tell me our ride is here."

"Yes, we have a car waiting for you," he said with a smile.

"And you've spoken with my father?" I asked.

"Of course, he's expecting you."

"Great." Joe and I followed Diels down the hall. Joe gave me a curious look and I just shook my head. The Oberfüher stopped suddenly, before we reached the main steps. He opened a door, revealing the back stairs. "Can't we use the front entrance? It's so nice."

"We take your safety very seriously."

"Of course," Joe said. He guided me through the door. The two of us headed down a few flights, then I peeked over the railing to see if Diels was still there.

"All the way to the basement!" He said cheerfully, still watching us. We headed all the way down to the last floor. I stopped to listen. I could hear soldiers talking on the other side. I pushed Joe back up the stairs.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Apparently they never called the New York office," I told him. "Diels reports to Heydrich."

"Is that a bad thing?" Joe asked. I continued up the stairs.

"I've heard my dad talk about Heydrich, he's always been a power hungry bastard." I stopped suddenly. "He was behind the assassination attempt," I realized. "It really wasn't my fault." I jogged up the next flight and pushed open the door onto the ground floor.

We almost collided with Juliana. "What the hell are you doing here?" Joe whispered.

"You're not the only one who can lie."

"This way." I nodded. "We've got to go." I led them both out of the building through a side door. "You really followed us all the way here for this stupid film?" I asked, once we were safely in the alley.

"No, the Resistance sent me," she said. "They wanted me to lure you both out so they could kill you."

"And you were going to do that?" Joe asked.

"I've seen what you are really are! You were in that film, wearing a Nazi uniform and executing people."

"That was not Joe," I insisted .

"We both saw it, Lottie. It was him."

"You know as well as I do, that Joe was not this Joe. Just like that Frank, was not your Frank."

"Maybe that's the future," she countered.

"If that's true, we can still change it." I shook my head. "You saw a film of the Allies winning, right? I've seen tons of those. I've seen films where Russia and China have communist empires that infect entire continents. I watched one where the 35th president was sworn into office. What we saw on that film today is no more real than there being a 35th president of the United States."

I pointed at Joe. "But if we don't get this film back to the man we report to, he's going to kill him. Then he'll come for you. And if you let that happen, I will make sure he knows Frank was involved too." She backed away slowly, biting her nail. I softened my tone. "I don't want that, Juliana. We can help each other."

Finally she nodded. "Okay, I know how to help you. There's a boat leaving for Mexico, I can get you two on it."

OoOoO

Juliana pointed out the boat. It was an old fishing boat, not very glamorous. "There it is."

"Thank you," Joe told her. "For doing this, and for believing in me when you didn't have to." She didn't say anything, just nodded for us to follow her. "You should come with us, it's not safe for you here."

Juliana turned to look at us. "I'm sorry." We both looked at her for a moment.

I shook my head. "You know, you almost had me fooled. That's pretty hard to do." I glanced around. "Sniper?" Juliana looked away.

"I'm sorry too," Joe told her. "For everything." He reached into his jacket and pulled out the film. "I never wanted to be the man in this film. I never wanted to be a part of all this, I just wanted Lottie. If that meant I had to be in her world then-"

"This is all my fault," I said suddenly. "If I'd been honest about Artemis, things might have been different. I didn't want you in this world either," I said to Joe. I was afraid this might be our last chance to get anything off our chest. "You never needed to be anything different than who you already were. Even if it wasn't good enough for him, it was always good enough for me." I grabbed the film and held it out to Juliana. "Here, take it. Maybe you'll solve the puzzle I never could."

"Oh god," she whispered. "I don't believe the film." She shook her head, and pushed the film back toward me. "Go, get on that ship. You've got to go now." She pushed us toward the dock.

"Thank you, Juliana," Joe said. He put his arm around me and led me to the boat. We were just in time. Slowly we pulled away from the dock. I watched Juliana fade into a speck in the distance. Karen and Lem joined her. I really hoped she was going to be okay.

When shore was just a sliver in the distance, Joe and I turned to look at each other. He glanced around and then reached into his pocket. He pulled out a box. "Is that...That's what you went back to the hotel for," I realized. He opened it, revealing a small diamond ring. "You brought that all the way here?"

"I was looking for the perfect time, I though maybe it'd be romantic."

I laughed. "Yeah, we've had a lot of romance this trip."

"Maybe there's not such thing as a perfect time." He smirked. I watched him drop down to one knee. "So what do you say, Lottie? Marry me?"

I laughed and held out my hand. "I don't see why not."

OoOoO

The hours had passed slowly on the boat. I knew my father had sent a plane for us, but I had no way of telling them where we were. I leaned on the doorframe of the wheelhouse. The two men turned suddenly, knives drawn. One of them slammed his hand down on the radio, cutting it off midsentence. "So, the radio's working now? Perfect."

"You're a fucking Nazi," one of them said. He waved his knife in my face. I kept my face neutral, but my fingers pressed into the wall. "Give us the film."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." They looked at each other and nodded. One of them grabbed my arms and held his knife to my neck. I knew I could take him, but Joe was on his own downtairs with the rest of the crew. "I'm not a Nazi, I'm just selling the film to them. I swear."

"The Resistance wants to buy it from us."

I rolled my eyes. "They don't have the money. Even if they did, I guarantee it isn't even half what those Nazi bastards will pay. I'll cut you in."

"How much?"

"Two hundred thousand?" I asked. They shared another look. My arms were released. "I need to use the radio to reach my contact." They let me turn the radio on and fiddle with it for a moment.

"This is Athena, do you copy?"

"We copy. Ready for pick up, what's your location." I read him off the numbers that the captain pointed to. "En route. Anything else?"

"Air drop the money. Two hundred thousand yen, like we agreed upon?" I asked, hoping he'd take the hint.

"Of course, Athena."

I looked up at the shipmen. One of them still held his knife out threateningly. "You heard the man, your money is on the way." I tilted my head. "If you lay a hand on me or Joe, I'll make sure that film goes down with me. Then neither of us will get paid. Okay?"

The man lowered his knife. I walked out of the wheelhouse and headed downstairs. Joe was leaning on the rail. He glanced behind me curiously. "It's handled," I told him. "They're sending a plane."

"It feels like ages since we were home."

"I can't believe we've been here less than a week." I tapped my fingers along the rail. My ring made a quiet ding every time it hit the metal. I smiled down at it. "Mom's going to be ecstatic."

"And your dad?"

I tilted my head. "Dad will be...dad." I turned to Joe and put a hand on his chest. He looked down at me. "It doesn't matter, it never did. No matter what my father thought, it was always going to be you and me in the end." I leaned up and kissed him.

"There it is!" Someone shouted. I turned to see the Nazi plane drop off a crate. It drifted slowly to the deck on a parachute.

"We're paying them?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "We were sort of being held hostage." He raised an eyebrow. "Like I said, I handled it."

I passed the sailor who'd held me at knifepoint. He grinned as the crate was opened to reveal the cash. "Enjoy," I said, as I patted him on the shoulder. Joe and I climbed into the rowboat and made our way to the seaplane.

An SS officer opened the door and helped us in. "Miss Smith, your father will be pleased to have you back in New York."

I smiled tersely. "I'm sure he will be."

Joe and I sat down. He looked over his shoulder out the window. I pressed my fingers into his wrist. "Don't look."

"What?"

"Trust me, you don't want to see this." I kept my eyes fixed on the wall, but I couldn't block out the sounds of the explosion.

Joe turned to me, wild eyed. "You knew?"

"Of course I did, Joe. This isn't my first extraction." I shook my head. "I don't like it either."

"But they were resistance, _your_ resistance."

I shushed him sharply. "No, they weren't. Those sailors were just trying to make a quick buck. They didn't care whether we lived or died, as long as they got paid." He didn't look convinced. "And anyway, it's not _my_ anything. The vision I have, and the vision Karen and Lem have, are two very different things. We only operate under the same umbrella."

Joe stared at the flaming ship as our plane took us away. "Are you going to be mad at me again? Because this isn't going to work if I have to apologize every time I make a tough decision."

"I just want to be normal. I just want it to be us."

I let out a long sigh. "Me too, Joe."

"Then let's do it," he said suddenly. "Let's just try to be normal. We can forget about the Nazis and the Resistance. Everyone but us."

I thought about it for a moment. Things had gone poorly here, and I did need to lay low. "Okay," I whispered finally. "We can try."   


	7. Chapter 7

Joe and I slept most of the plane ride back to New York. I couldn’t remember the last time that I’d actually gotten a good night’s sleep. I’d been sleep walking through the last few days, but somehow I’d survived it all.

I lay my head on Joe’s shoulder. “We’re here,” I whispered. He opened his eyes slowly. “Have a good nap?”

“I dreamt we were going on vacation.” He smiled. His eyes still drooped sleepily.

I kissed him on the cheek. “A vacation sounds amazing. But, we should probably get through this debriefing first.” He shuttered. I waited for Joe to get out of his seat, before following after him.

There was a car waiting to take us to the SS Headquarters. We were escorted up to my father’s office. I noticed some of the staff had changed. I was almost surprised by how normal this all felt.

Major Klemm was outside the door. He nodded when he saw me. “Obergruppenführer Smith asked to see Mr. Blake first.” I fought back an eye roll, but took a seat in the waiting room.

“How’re the kids?” I asked Elisabeth, the secretary. I ignored Klemm’s pointed stare.

“Oh they’re just wonderful, Miss Smith,” Elisabeth gushed. “Astrid is going to Hamburg to study in the fall.”

“That’s great. I’m sure she’ll love it.” She glanced over at Major Klemm out of the corner of her eye, and then back at me. I sighed and finally turned toward him. “What?”

“It’s just, you’re-“

“Very happy to be back in New York,” I cut him off, giving him my best threatening look while Elisabeth was looking down.

“Of course, we’ve all been anxious for your return.”

The door to my father’s study opened and Erich stepped out. “Obergruppenführer Smith would like to see you now.” I sighed, relieved to escape this awkward encounter. Klemm watched me, slightly wide-eyed, as I walked by. It took all my effort not to smack him, this was worse than the blatant disrespect.

“Joe tells me you have news,” my father said, standing up. I sighed and held out my hand, the little diamond caught the light. “I’m happy for you both.” I raised an eyebrow, but held my tongue.

“I promised mother that she would be the first person I told,” I said after a moment.

“Well, you didn’t tell me, Joe did,” he pointed out. “I’ll pretend to be surprised when Helen tells me.” I found myself smiling conspiratorially with him. It felt like old times. Then I remembered why it felt so wrong.

“I wrote up my statement on the plane, to save you the trouble.” I tossed the folder onto the coffee table, instead of putting it in his hand.

My dad put his hand on my arm. “Charlotte, I know we had a bit of a disagreement, but know that-“

“You were going to let Joe _die_.” I shook his hand off. “That’s more than a disagreement.” I crossed my arms, knowing full well I probably looked like a pouty teenager.

“The prosperity of the Reich comes before the life of one citizen,” he reminded me. “You know this, Athena.”

“Oh, please. Do not “Athena” me right now. There is a line, and you crossed it the moment you sent me with Joe.” I stepped toward him. “I would never put someone I love in unnecessary danger. Could you say the same?”

Joe looked between the two of us, as if he were prepared to duck and cover. “Charlotte, you will not-“

“Athena is taking a break,” I said, cutting him off.

He looked taken aback for a moment, before he recovered. “I am your commanding officer, you aren’t the one who makes that decision.”

“Really, my CO, is that it?” I tilted my head. “I can’t work with you until you decide who’s more important; Charlotte, your daughter, or Athena, your asset.” I put my hand on Joe’s arm. “Come on, we’re going home.”

He stood up and walked me to the door. “Charlotte.” I stopped. “Your mother would like to know if you would join us for dinner this weekend?”

“Tell her I’m busy,” I told him. “Actually, I’ll call to give her the news when I get home. So, you don’t need to mention me at all.” Joe held the door for me and I walked into the waiting room without looking back at my father.

Klemm resumed staring. I rolled my eyes. “Get a grip, kid.”

OoOoO

Just as after every mission, I was elated to be returning to my tiny Brooklyn apartment. Not even the Vokshalle itself could hold a candle to home. I collapsed on the couch with a sigh. There was a brown spot on the ceiling. “Angie’s sink is leaking again, will you call her?”

Joe walked over and picked up the phone by my head. He leaned on the back of the couch, looking down at me. “Hi, Angie, it’s Joe.” I heard a muffled exclamation from the other end. “Yep, that’s what I was calling about.” I propped myself up on one arm, and reached for his collar with the other. I tugged him down toward me. “No problem, no problem,” he told her. I laughed quietly and kissed Joe. He tilted the phone away from his face.

Angie continued to babble on. He pushed me away momentarily. “Okay, thanks for taking care of it. Bye.” I could still hear her talking, even as he slammed the receiver down.

“Nothing more normal than leaky sinks and annoying neighbors,” I whispered. He laughed as he hopped over the couch. I put my hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him again, when I noticed the ring on my finger. “Shit, I need to call my mom.”

I groaned as I rolled away and grabbed the phone. I dialed as I carried it toward the window. We’d left in such a hurry there were still dirty dishes in the sink. “Hello?”

“Hi, mom, it’s me.” I reached for one of the plates, tucking the phone between my shoulder and my head.

“Oh, Charlotte. It’s so good to hear from you!” She said brightly. “How was your trip out west?”

I narrowed my eyes at something that might have once been spinach. “Gross,” I whispered as I flicked it into the trash.

“What, Charlotte?”

“Oh, it was fine. Actually, more than fine.” I paused for a moment. “I’ve got news.”

I could almost see my mother grinning. “Did he finally?”

“He did. I’m officially engaged.” She squealed.

I hear Amy shout something, but it was muffled. “Joe asked your sister to marry him,” I heard my mom tell her.

There was shuffling. “LOTTIE!” Amy screamed. It was so loud I jumped, almost dropping the phone.

“Volume, Amy,” our mother chided.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “When’s the wedding? Do I get to be your flower girl? Is your dress going to be sparkly?”

I laughed. “Slow down, kiddo. We haven’t worked out any of the details. I only just got home.”

“Is dad mad? I bet he’s mad.”

“That’s enough, Amy. Why don’t you go tell Thomas and Jennifer?” The phone changed hands again. “I’m afraid that one is going to turn into you when she grows up.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” I asked teasingly. I moved the dishes I had washed to the counter.

“Well, maybe not the _worst_ thing.” She sighed. I dried the dishes in silence for a moment. “I know your father hasn’t been the most encouraging of you and Joe. But, I’m glad you’re happy, Charlotte.”

“Thanks, mom.” I fished the drying and put away the dishes. I wandered over to the window and draped the red dishcloth over the sill. “I should get going, I still haven’t unpacked.”

“Will you and Joe come for dinner this week?” She asked.

“I’m picking up a few extra shifts at the hospital, I don’t think I can make it,” I said apologetically. “Next month.”

“Alright, but I’m holding you to that.” I smiled softly. “Tell Joe I can’t wait to welcome him to the family. I love you, Charlotte.”

“Love you too, mom.” I hung up, and then leaned on the windowsill for a moment. “Well, she’s happy,” I said, turning back to Joe.

“I heard the screaming.”

I laughed. “That was Amy, but I’m sure mom felt like that on the inside. I’m pretty sure she was convinced I would die an old spinster.” I wrapped my arms around Joe’s neck and leaned down over his shoulder. “I need to run to the store, we’re out of milk. I’ll pick up ramen on the way back?”

“For a moment I got scared that you were going to try to cook.” I smacked his chest lightly and he laughed. “Alright, see you later.” I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed my purse.

I stopped at the door and watched him for a moment. Joe glanced over curiously. “It feels nice to be normal again. I’ve missed it.”

“Me too.”

“There’s one more thing I need to take care of, and then I’m all yours.” I turned and headed out into the hall, before he realized I didn’t only mean groceries. It did feel nice to be normal, but we were lying to ourselves if we thought it would last. We weren’t normal sorts of people, and that wasn’t a bad thing.

OoOoO

I leaned against the wall of the arch in Prospect Park. I lit up a cigarette and smoked in the shadows for a few minutes. Dusk had only just settled, and a few people still milled about.

“How’s the weather back home?”

“A bit murky to be honest,” I said, as I turned toward him. “How about you?”

He nodded gravely. “There’s a storm brewing. We heard that your trip didn’t go quite as planned.”

I glanced over my shoulder at the entrance, clear. “I’m burnt in the Pacific States. I need to lay low for a bit and see if there’s going to be any fallout. I’m going dark for a while.”

“Project Chameleon is almost ready to go, should we wait?”

I shook my head. “No, I want you to move forward. I knew this project was going to be time consuming when I set it into motion. I trust that you can handle the next step?” I handed him a folder I’d tucked in my purse. “I want this one. Other than him, I don’t care who you chose.”

He opened the folder and looked it over. “Major Klemm?” I nodded. “Isn’t that a little ambitious?”

“I want him,” I repeated. He looked back down at the folder for a moment, before nodding. “Good.”

“Are you planning on going after the Obergruppenführer?”

“When I return, I expect to see progress,” I told him, ignoring the question.

“Progress,” he repeated, a bit skeptically.

I nodded once. “I should be back in a few weeks. Liberty, equality, fraternity.” He repeated the words back in French, though his uncertainty didn’t escape my notice.

Maybe I should be the one to take Project Chameleon forward. I promised Joe normalcy, but I wasn’t sure if I could deliver. I shook my head. No, my men could handle this. I could use some time off.

I returned to the apartment with a bag of groceries and a box of takeout. This was what normal people did.

OoOoO

A few days passed and all was calm. Joe went back to his old construction job. I went back to the hospital. I liked my job. Being a surgical nurse meant there was never a dull day, but there was just enough monotony to be relaxing.

We lay on the couch watching TV one night. I knew I ought to put the leftover pizza in the fridge before it went off. For the moment, I wanted to stay in Joe’s arms for a little bit longer.

On screen two cops were roughing up a petty thief. “If you’ve got a problem with Hitler, then you’ve got a problem with me.”

I rolled my eyes. “This show is terrible.”

“It’s better than that talk show you mom watches,” Joe noted. I made a face and he laughed. There was a knock on the door. We both frowned. “It’s probably Angie, I’ll get it.”

He stood up and went for the door, and I took the pizza into the kitchen. “Lottie,” Joe said quietly. I turned to look at him. He didn’t say anything, only stared at me pointedly.

I let out a short huff. “Oh, you have got to be kidding. It’s _him_?” Joe nodded once. “For fucks sake. We can’t even have one week?” I walked over to the door and bumped Joe out of the way. “I’m not opening the door.”

“Charlotte, you’ve been avoiding my calls for three days,” my father said calmly. “I need to speak with Joe.”

“Send a letter,” I said dryly. I glanced through the peephole. He wasn’t going anywhere. I groaned and pulled the door open a smidge. “Go. Away.”

“I have orders from Berlin for Joe,” he told me. “This doesn’t concern you.” I glanced at Joe, but neither of us made a move to open the door any more. “It’s from Reichminister Heusmann.”

Joe put his hand on the door. “Let him in.” I groaned but stepped out of the way. My father walked into the living room. I backed into the kitchen to put the leftovers away, to give them a moment.

“He wants to see you, Joe. He’s your father.”

“What makes either of you think I want to see him?” Joe asked, crossing his arms. “What does he want?”

John shrugged. “You’d better ask him.”

“Is this another play to keep me and Lottie apart? It won’t work anymore.”

I leaned on the counter, listening. My father glanced at me over Joe’s shoulder. “Charlotte can go with you, if she wants. She doesn’t work for me anymore.” It was clearly an attempt to curry favor. But I wasn’t having any of it. John Smith always had ulterior motives. “If you don’t want to go, Joe, I’ll countermand the order.”

Joe didn’t say anything for a moment. My father nodded and walked toward the door. “Goodbye, Charlotte.” I followed him to the door and definitively closed it in his face.

I turned around to face Joe. I pushed his back toward the living room, as if my father was standing outside listening in. “Are you going to go?”

“No,” he said firmly.

“Joe, you’ve never met him, maybe…” I trailed off.

He shook his head. “I don’t want to meet him.”

I put my hands on his arms. “You never know, he might surprise you.” I sat him down on the couch. “I know you want to ask him why he left. At least do that much.” He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’ll go with you, I could use the air.”

He shook his head. “You’re right. If I don’t go, I’ll only wonder.” I nodded. “But, you should stay here. What I need to say will only take a day at most. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Are you sure?”

Joe nodded. “You’ve already been away from the hospital for too long. Stay here.” He glanced around the living room. “Don’t let this place get too messy while I’m away.”

I shoved him lightly. “Oh, shut up.” He pulled me in and kissed me. I pushed him back with a laugh. “Go pack and get out of my apartment. I’m ready for the peace and quiet, and no awful TV shows.”

He laughed as he stood up. “Okay, okay, I see how it is. I’m not wanted.”

I stood up and grabbed his arm spinning him back around. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Joe Blake.”

He kissed my forehead. “I’ll be back in a few days. I love you, Lottie.” Joe slipped away into our bedroom and I dropped back onto the couch. I wanted to believe my dad was only passing on the message. But I couldn’t shake the feeling there was more. There was always more.


	8. Chapter 8

As I was leaving the hospital that afternoon, the receptionist handed me a card. Major Klemm had stopped by to deliver news from my father. Juliana Crane was in New York. I crumpled up the card and tossed it in the trash. I didn’t even need to memorize the address. I knew it already. Juliana was staying in a women’s dormitory near my parent’s home. That was certainly not a coincidence.

The cab to the dormitory cost an army and a leg, and it took almost an hour with all the traffic. It was midafternoon before I finally arrived. When I stepped out onto the curb, I almost ran right into my mother. “Oh, Charlotte! So glad you got a moment to come by!” She hugged me tightly and then went immediately for my hand. She turned it side to side, admiring my engagement ring. “Beautiful. I’m so proud of you.”

“Juliana’s inside?” I asked, cutting to the point.

She nodded. “Yes, apartment 6B. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you. Your father told me that you met in San Francisco. Maybe you were the reason she looked here for asylum. It’s a good thing she did, the poor girl.”

I tried to smile, but I was sure it fell flat. I knew how much trouble we’d caused Juliana. Being here wouldn’t save her from any of that, if anything it only made her life more dangerous. “I should get upstairs, I’d like to get home before dark.”

“Of course, make sure she’s settling in alright,” my mother said concerned. “She’s more likely to be honest with you.” I frowned. That sounded like something my father would say. If he were trying to get information out of Juliana, he would except that I could draw it out of her. I’d have to make sure she was careful.

I hugged my mother and then headed into the building. I knocked, but there was no answer. Juliana’s door was unlocked, as was everyone else’s. The crime rate in this neighborhood was practically nonexistent, at least according to my mother. She liked to remind me of that whenever she could. Neither of my parents approved of my apartment in Brooklyn.

“Juliana?” I called. She emerged from the bedroom and let out a squeak. “Sorry, I knocked but I wasn’t sure if you heard.”

“Lottie,” she said. Then her eyes narrowed. “Smith, right? Your last name is Smith?”

“Yeah, it’s a common name.”

“He’s your dad, isn’t he? Obergruppenführer Smith?” I looked down at the floor. She lowered her voice. “You said he would kill Joe. But you and Joe-“

I sighed. “Believe me, Juliana. I know.” I shook my head. “But, he’s still my dad. And I’m willing to bet he let you stay here because of me.” It wasn’t precisely accurate. He let her stay for the information I could get out of her. But, I knew there were recorders in these apartments. I had to be careful how much I said.

“Do you want some tea? Helen just made a pot.” I nodded. She walked over and poured two mugs. She brought me one and we sat down at the table.

I brought the mug to my lips, covering my next words from the cameras. “Did you tell them anything about, you know?” I asked quietly. Juliana shook her head subtly, taking the hint. “Good, good. He wouldn’t have believed you anyway.” I slowly looked up at the vents where I was certain the cameras had been placed. She followed my gaze and gave a short nod of understanding. “How’s Frank?”

“He’s okay,” she said. “I hope he is at least.”

I tried to give her a reassuring look, but I didn’t think it helped. “Things can be good for you here, if you work hard. Just be careful whose eye you catch.” I was precise with my wording. “They’ll expect you to get married one day. These women’s dormitories aren’t meant to be permanent arrangements.”

Juliana smiled nervously. I took another sip from my mug and her eyes zeroed in on my finger. “That’s new.” I smiled. “Congratulations. Is Joe around?”

I shook my head. “He had to go to Berlin. He should be back soon.”

“You didn’t go with him?” She asked surprised. “Berlin is awfully far away.”

I shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated seems pretty normal for you,” she noted. “But you two are stronger together.”

I took another sip as I thought. “You’re right. I should be in Berlin with him.” I stood up. “I should go. I’m sorry for abandoning you when you just got here.”

Juliana shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I completely understand. You don’t owe me anything.” It wasn’t entirely true, she had saved my life. But, then again, I wouldn’t have needed saving if she hadn’t set me up in the first place.

“Take care of yourself, Juliana.” She walked me to the door. I started to leave, but quickly turned around to hug her. It caught her off guard. “Don’t trust anyone,” I whispered. “My father will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”

I stepped away and smiled as if nothing was wrong. “Have a safe trip, Lottie,” Juliana said with a tense smile. As I walked out of the apartment, I hoped that she would be okay here. But New York City was a dangerous place.

OoOoO

The phone rang while I was halfway through packing for Berlin. I darted across the room, assuming it was Joe. “Hello?” I answered.

“Charlotte,” my father said. I started to put the phone down. “Don’t hang up, this is important.” He didn’t sound angry, he sounded sad. It was rare that he got upset.

“I’m here,” I told him.

“I wanted you to come by, but I know you’re leaving for Berlin.” He sighed. “It’s Thomas.”

I frowned. “What about him?

He was quiet for a long moment. “He’s sick.”

“Sick,” I repeated. “Have you gone to the doctor?”

“That’s why I’m calling,” he explained. “There’s nothing they can do. It’s the same thing my brother had. They’re going to kill him.”

I let out a slow breath. “Now?”

“I’m supposed to do it. They said it was a courtesy.”

Tears sprung to my eyes, I fought them back. “Can I speak to him?”

“I was hoping you would. I know you were never close, but he looked up to you.” There was a banging noise as he sat the phone down. The line was quiet for a few moments.

“Charlotte?” Thomas said. “Dad said you wanted to talk to me. Amy and Jennifer are upset you didn’t ask for them.” I laughed softly. “Mom told me about your engagement. That’s great. I’m looking forward to the wedding.”

The tears threatened to fall, and I closed my eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry I was never a good sister,” I told him quietly. “I should have been there for you.”

“It’s okay, you were always busy. I know it’s unusual, but I’m proud to tell people my sister went to college. I like knowing you’re a nurse, that you save lives everyday.”

“I’m proud of you, Thomas. You’re going to do great things one day.” I wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Did something happen?”

“No, no everything is fine,” I lied. “I’m going to Berlin. When I get back, I’m going to take you into the city. I know you like all the museums too. We’ll make a day of it.”

“That would be great.” He seemed so excited. We’d never spent time together just us before. I wished that we had.

“I have to go,” I said after a long pause. “I love you, kid. Tell dad,” I paused, “Tell dad I love him too.” I hung up and then collapsed on the couch. I tried to think of something I could do. But this was the nature of our world. If my father didn’t do it now, it would only be worse for everyone later. By the time I landed in Berlin, my little brother would be dead.

OoOoO

When I arrived in Berlin there was a car waiting for me. The driver didn’t say anything, not even where we were going. He dropped me off in front of the Reich Chancellery. It was home to the Führer’s own office. An officer led me upstairs.

I was deposited in the waiting room. A few secretaries looked at me curiously, but no one said anything. I wasn’t even sure who’d summoned me. Then the door opened and a smiling man stepped out. “Ah, Charlotte Smith, it is so nice to finally meet you.” The man walked over and shook my hand. “I’m Reichsminister Heussman, Joe’s father. He told me about you, though not much I’m afraid.” He ushered me into his office.

“Is Joe here?” I asked.

“No, he just returned to his hotel. He’s planning on leaving Berlin today actually.”

“I tried to send word I was coming, but this was a little last minute,” I explained.

He nodded. “That’s why I had you brought here. I wanted to explain. I know Joe has a very strong idea of the person he thinks I am. However, he doesn’t have all the information. I’ve tried to tell him, but he doesn’t yet understand. I’d like for him to stay, I need more time to convince him.”

“You want me to ask him to stay,” I said. It wasn’t a question, but he nodded enthusiastically. “Why should I?”

“This is Berlin, I’m sure you could find something here that would hold your attention. It would only be for a few days, and then you’re both free to go. I want the opportunity to explain things to him. He’s my son.”

I sighed. “Alright, I’ll ask him to stay a few more days. But then I’m staying out of this. I have my own family problems. I don’t want to get in the middle of someone else’s.”

He smiled. “But you’re practically family already.” He motioned toward the ring on my finger. He did have a point there. “I’ll have a car take you to Joe’s hotel.”

“Thank you, Reichsminister.”

He patted me on the back as he led me to the door. “Please, call me Martin.”

OoOoO

The hotel was gorgeous. It reminded me of something on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, old and elegant. I glanced around, marveling at the architecture. I was so distracted I walked right into someone. “Lottie?” I grinned when I realized it was Joe. “What’re you doing here?”

“I decided it was unfair that you got to go to Berlin without me,” I told him. I tugged him through the lobby and into the bar.

“I was actually planning on leaving today,” he admitted.

I flagged down a bartender. “I know, your father told me.” I ordered an old fashioned and sat down. “He sent a car, I didn’t mean to meet him.”

“Let me guess, he wanted you to ask me to stay.” I nodded. “I don’t want to stay.”

I crossed my arms. “Well, I’m staying.”

“Lottie, come on.”

“I’m not trying to be difficult, but I can’t go home right now.” I couldn’t help but think about Thomas. “At least a day or so, let’s go see the sights.”

“You’ve been here before,” he reminded me.

“Yes, but that was not a vacation.” The bartender brought my drink and I knocked it back quickly, washing away those memories. “Let’s take a few days to ourselves. It’ll be nice.” I knew there was a touch of desperation creeping into my voice. I couldn’t stomach the thought of going home, of seeing my parents so soon after Thomas died. My mother would be crushed. I couldn’t handle that. I needed space.

Joe must have realized there was more than I was saying, because he finally nodded. “Okay, let’s do it. A real vacation.”

“Great!” I pulled a handful of pamphlets out of my bag. “I thought we could go to the Altes Museum this afternoon; I want to see the Greek collection.” Joe laughed as I pushed one of the pamphlets toward him. “I hear they have a gorgeous Athena statue.”

OoOoO

I came to a jerking stop in front a bust. “There she is.” The Athena carving looked like a warrior. Her helmet was pushed up on her forehead and her eyes were cast down. Her shoulders were crawling with snakes. I could relate to the feeling.

I frowned as I scanned the room. Finally I found the statue I was looking for. Across the room, standing tall, was Artemis. Her hand reaching over her shoulder, to draw an arrow for a bow that had long been broken away. “You okay, Lottie?” Joe asked.

I shook my head once as I crossed over to stand in front of the statue. “Do you know why I chose Athena?” I asked.

“You said you were best in your class,” he remembered. “They let you pick your name, so you chose the goddess of war.”

“Athena was venerated once. Thousands worshiped her; countless temples were built in her honor. But she was never soft. She was harsh and unforgiving. She carried the head of a gorgon as a symbol of her strength.” I shrugged. “Athena was everything I was meant to be.”

I paced, looking at the other Greek artwork. “The Keres Operation started as a training program for assassins, but it evolved over time. I learned three forbidden languages, and fifteen dialects of German. They taught us science and literature; it was like the most in depth liberal arts education. But we didn’t use that knowledge to help people; we used it to hurt them. There’s a reason only four Keres operatives are active. The rest of them are dead.”

“Aphrodite was doomed from the start, you can guess how she got her name.” I passed each statue and remembered the person who’d once used their names. “Hebe was weak, she died of an illness. It was treatable, but they decided to let it run its course to test her resolve. And Artemis, she was smarter than us all.”

I returned to the Artemis statue. “She was a tracker, of people and things. We were partners, she was the brain and I was the muscle. We were on a mission together and we got separated. She found who we were looking for before I could find her. Before that day, I’d been tapped for the Führer’s personal team. But I couldn’t stay in Berlin after that. She was my best friend and I let her down.”

“What was her name?” Joe asked. “Her real name, I mean?”

I shrugged. “We weren’t allowed to tell. Before they gave us our aliases we went by numbers.” I glanced around the room. “Standing here is like standing in a graveyard.”

“You said there were four Keres operatives left, who are the other three?”

“Eris and Enyo, the twins, they were terrifyingly good with weapons. And Calliope, I think. I only met her a few times. She wasn’t a fighter, but she probably spoke every language known to man and then some. I don’t know where they were sent, only that I was the only operative North American.”

I looped my arm through his and pulled him toward the exit. I couldn’t look at these statues any longer. “It’s dangerous for me to be free, because I’m not. The way we were trained, the things we know…” I trailed off as we passed a group of schoolgirls. “We have power. That’s why I took on the mantle of Artemis. If I can track down the man who makes those films, then maybe I can save us all.”

Joe was silent on our ride back to the hotel. I’d told him about Keres before, but only the basics. Being back in Berlin brought up all those old memories. They reminded me that I never wanted to be just Athena ever again.


	9. Chapter 9

The two-day stay in Berlin passed rather quickly. I still wasn’t ready to face my family, but I couldn’t avoid them forever. It had been just over a week since I set Project Chameleon into motion. I was already eager to see if my assets had made any progress with their marks.

Joe and I stood outside of the Hotel Adolphus waiting on our taxi. It was a murky rainy day. I hugged Joe for warmth. He pressed his cheek against my head and laughed quietly. “Josef?” Martin called, interrupting the moment. We both sighed. “I was informed you were leaving.”

“Are you here to stop me?” Joe asked. I let go of Joe, but he kept his hand firm on my waist.

Martin shook his head. “No, no, I won’t force you to stay. But, there’s something you need to see before you go.”

“Our plane leaves at three,” I informed him.

“I’ll drop you at the airport after,” Martin assured. “I can’t let you leave without knowing the truth, Josef. You deserve to know it.”

A blonde girl in a bright blue coat darted in front of Martin. “Joe, I thought that was you!” She looked between us, her blue eyes sparkling. “Oh, you must be Charlotte! Joe mentioned you. I can see why he was so anxious to return to New York.”

Martin smiled at the other blonde. “Ah, Ms. Becker, perhaps you could keep Ms. Smith company while I speak with my son?”

Her brows furrowed but she nodded. “Of course, I know the best café around the block. Do you like coffee?”

“Who doesn’t?” I looked up at Joe. “Meet you at the airport at three?” He nodded. I kissed him on the cheek and he finally released me. I gave Joe and Martin one last worried glance before following the other woman around the corner.

The café was cute. It had matching mint colored tables and a pastry case fit for a king. It felt as fancy as the hotel we’d just left. It was definitely a step up from the café in Pittsburg where I met Henry. “I’m Nicole by the way,” she said. We stepped under the café’s awning and she flagged down a waiter. “Joe and I met at one of Martin’s parties last week.” She snapped open her cigarette case and held it out to me.

I lit my cigarette and took a drag. “The party that almost convinced Joe to leave Berlin,” I deduced.

“Did Martin send for you?” She asked as we were seated. “Joe was so set on going back to New York. I thought for sure that was the last I’d seen of him.”

I shook my head as I scanned the menu, though I knew I’d just order a black coffee. “I decided to fly over. Perfect timing too, any later and we would’ve missed each other.” Nicole and I ordered our coffees and made small talk while we waited.

“So what do you do in New York?” She asked, resting her elbows on the table.

“I’m a nurse,” I told her. “At least I think I still am, I’m a little unsure of my employment status at the moment.”

She laughed. “Hey, I know how it is. We’re living in a man’s world, and you’re getting married. Everyone expects you to retire, right?”

“Not exactly.” I leaned back in my chair. “My dad was never all that thrilled about me getting married. He actually did everything in his power to prevent it. I guess he thought he was protecting me from myself. He always wanted something more for me.” I sighed. “I love my job, I never planned on giving it up. But if I do, it’ll be because he pushed me to it,” I told her, no longer talking about nursing. “Sorry, don’t wanna bore you with my daddy issues.”

“Believe me, I know family drama.” She leaned forward on her hands and looked at me. “Has anyone ever told you that you could be in the pictures?” I shook my head. “You should let me film you. You’d be a natural.”

“Oh, I don’t act,” I politely declined.

Nicole raised an eyebrow. “You’re a born actor, and I get paid to make those sort of observations. Everything you do is a performance, and I mean that as a compliment,” she added quickly. “All you need is a script and you’re an actress.”

I shrugged it off. She was spot on. I was an actress, but not in the traditional sense. Our coffees came and we sipped in silence for a moment. “How do you know Martin?” I asked casually.

“Oh, my father works with him,” she explained. “I suspect he invited me to that party so I could meet Joe. I don’t think he knew you two were engaged at the time. It isn’t like they were in the habit of exchanging Christmas cards.”

There was no way it was a coincidence that Nicole had shown up at the hotel the precise moment Martin had. Whatever truth bomb he was about to drop on Joe, he didn’t want me around to hear it. I didn’t mind being left out. I knew Joe would tell me on the plane.

“When you and Joe have children, they’re going to have amazing genes,” Nicole mused. “With who his father is, and who your father is…The Führer himself couldn’t have made a better match.”

I smiled, but all I could think about was Thomas. With a disease like that in my family, my children might never be safe in this world. My eyes flicked to the clock above the register. “I should probably catch a taxi,” I told her. “I don’t wanna miss my flight.”

“Of course, I’ll walk you out.” Nicole and I finished our coffees and headed out onto the street. “It was nice to meet you, Charlotte. I hope this isn’t the last I’ve seen of you.” She smiled like she was in on a secret. She snagged a pen from the closest table and scrawled her number on a napkin. “If you’re in Berlin again, call me. You’d like my friends.”

OoOoO

When I made it to the airport, there was a message waiting for me at the ticket counter from Joe. He wanted to stay in Berlin for the time being. Martin had sent a car for me, if I wanted to stay too. I rolled my eyes as the attendant read off the last line. Of course I was staying. Berlin was like a nest of vipers, someone had to keep them away from Joe.

The car took me to Martin’s house in the suburbs of Berlin. It was gorgeous. My mother would have loved it. It had columns and ivy climbing up the walls. A small elderly woman greeted me at the door. “ _Charlotte, we’ve been expecting you_ ,” she said happily in German. She put a hand on my back and ushered me into the foyer. “ _I’ve prepared a room for you and Josef upstairs. My name is Silvia, I’ll be downstairs if either of you need anything._ ”

Joe appeared at the top of the steps. His face was very serious. “ _Thank you very much, Silvia,_ ” I told her. I took the steps two at a time, knowing it wasn’t very ladylike. “What’s going on?” Joe motioned for me to follow him into a bedroom. Like the rest of the house, the room was done up in a classical European style. “Joe, you’re starting to freak me out.”

“You know about the Lebensborn, right?” He asked.

I frowned as I sat down on the bed. “Sure, it was a eugenics program. Aryan women, high-ranking Nazi officials, and a childhood of German propaganda. The recipe for a perfect party member.”

“More than I knew two hours ago,” he muttered. “Martin took me to a birthing house.”

“That’s…strange?”

“ _My_ birthing house, Lottie.”

I starred at him for a moment in silence. “So, you’re Lebensborn.” Another moment of silence. “I don’t know how you expect me to react here, Joe.”

“My mother kidnapped me when I was a baby. She told me I was born in Brooklyn in an old tenement because my father abandoned us.” He finally stopped pacing and looked at me. “My whole life is a lie, Lottie.”

I stood up and draped my arms over his shoulders. “You are still Joe Blake, you will always be Joe Blake. So one tiny part of your life isn’t true, that doesn’t change the last twenty-seven years. Your parents and some awful Nazi program do not define you, and I know this from personal experience. You make your own choices.”

“Martin said the same thing,” he said quietly.

“Maybe he and I have more in common than I thought.” I pulled Joe toward me and hugged him tight. “I know you, Joe, and this doesn’t change who you are.” I rested my chin on his shoulder, and we stayed there in each other’s arms for a few minutes.

“Are you alright, Lottie?” He asked finally, holding me at arms length. “You said you couldn’t go back to New York, did your dad-“

“It’s Thomas,” I told him. “He was diagnosed with the same thing my uncle had. Right before I left, my dad called and let me talk to him. They were supposed to euthanize him that day.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” He pulled me back toward him and held me close. The tears I’d been holding back for days finally spilled over.

“I was an awful sister, I took up all dad’s time, I never paid attention to him. He was such an over achiever, but he just wanted us to care,” I choked out through my tears. “I spent more time with my dog than with my own brother. And now he’s gone.”

I leaned back and wiped my eyes quickly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this to you. There’s nothing you can say to fix this, and now I’m here sobbing like a mad woman.”

“Lottie, you’re allowed to be upset.” Joe steered me back to the bed and sat down next to me. “I know bottling things up is what you do, but I’m not your dad. You don’t have to pretend with me.” He lay down across the bed and I stretched out next to him. I lay my head on his chest and he rubbed my arm.

“I can’t help but think that I could have done something,” I whispered. “What’s the point of resisting, if I can’t save my little brother from something like this?”

Neither of us said anything for a long time. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed there, but it felt nice to be together. These past few weeks we’d laid everything on the table. Just when I thought we couldn’t get any closer, we had. I’d be lost without him. “Nicole said something earlier, about us. She said that Hitler himself couldn’t have made a better pair. It got under my skin. We found each other by chance. Imagine if your mother had stayed in Berlin, or if I hadn’t been so intent on buying my own apartment in Brooklyn.”

“We would’ve still found each other,” he said quietly. I looked up at him with a faint smile. “Kismet and all that, right?”

“I like the idea of that.” I frowned. “Now that I’m thinking about it, Nicole must have known about you. Martin set her up to get me out of the way, and the way she talked, I mean…she had to know.”

“I thought Athena was taking a break,” Joe teased.

“As much as I want to, I can’t flip a switch and turn Athena off,” I told him. “My paranoia is firing on all cylinders, all the time.”

He shook his head amused. “Anything else bothering you?”

I rolled over and propped myself up on my elbows. “Well, since you’re asking, everyone here pronounces Charlotte with an extra syllable. It’s really grating on my eardrums.” Joe burst out laughing. “I’m not kidding, it pains me to hear it.”

“No, I understand, Martin won’t stop calling me Josef.”

“I don’t know, I might start calling you Josef, very European,” I teased. He made a face. I leaned down and kissed him, then rolled out of bed.

“Wait, where are you going?” He asked, reaching after me. I dodged his hands.

“I haven’t swept for bugs,” I told him. “I check the apartment once a week.”

“ _Our_ apartment?”

“You can make fun of me all you want, but I rather like living. I want to stay that way.” He shook his head as I took the lampshade off the lamp. “This is going to take a while, you should try to sleep. I’ll be quiet.”

OoOoO

I woke up late, and Joe was already gone. I followed the sound of voices to the dinning room. The first thing I saw was the huge spread Silvia had put out. “Wow this looks great.” She and Joe both turned looking surprised; they must not have heard me on the stairs.

Silvia looked relieved for the interruption. “Ah, Charlotte, good morning. Have some coffee.” She practically shoved the cup she was holding into my hands. “I will let you two enjoy breakfast.”

As soon as she was gone I turned back to Joe. “What did I miss?” He nodded up at the photos on the wall. Right in the middle was a portrait of Martin with a woman and two children. “Oh.”

“They died in a bombing,” he explained. “I’m Martin’s last son.”

I looked at him for a moment. “Do you want to go home?”

“I want to get out of this house.”

I knocked back the cup of coffee. “I know someone we can call.” 


	10. Chapter 10

 

I pushed back the window at the sound of a car pulling up. "She's here!" I whirled around and grabbed Joe's arm. He trailed behind me as we weaved through the house. I pushed open the door to reveal Nicole. She waved.

"I thought you didn't trust her?" Joe asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If I started avoiding everyone I didn't trust, you would be the only person I ever talked to," I told him. I walked up to the convertible and leaned on the door. "Thanks for coming, Nicole."

"I'm glad you called, I was afraid you two had left already." She motioned for me to get in. "Come on, we're going to be late."

"Late?" Joe asked.

Nicole smiled up at him. "For the party, of course! Everyone is excited to meet you both." I pulled on the door, and Nicole reached over to slide it back.

"Ooh, fancy," I said with a laugh. I motioned for Joe to get in first. It was a two-seater, so I was going to have to sit in his lap.

"This car is gorgeous," I told her, running my hand across the dash as I hopped in.

"Do you want to drive it?" She asked, eyes twinkling.

I grimaced. "No, no. I prefer to be driven," I told her. "I don't even have a license."

Joe squeezed my waist. "Lottie's high maintenance."

I leaned away from him to give him a look. Nicole laughed as she hit the gas. "I am so not high maintenance, stop lying." I took a ribbon off my wrist, and tied back my hair.

The front door flew open, and Silvia ran out. "Josef! Wait, come back!" She shouted after us.

"Go, go, go!" I urged Nicole. She sped out of the driveway and I watched over Joe's shoulder as Silvia stopped at the gate.

I wrapped my arms around Joe's neck and kissed his cheek. "Running away from home?" Nicole asked.

"Something like that," Joe said. Once we were out the neighborhood it got too loud for anyone to be heard over the wind. The view was gorgeous, though, so I didn't mind. Eventually the city disappeared from view as we entered the forest.

I heard the party before we emerged in the clearing. Good music spilled from the lodge. I let my hair down as Nicole parked. A girl in high-waisted shorts and a bustier walked by as I was opening the car door, two shirtless guys joined her. I felt overdressed.

"Who are these people?" I asked as I walked around the front of the car. My eyes landed on a couple that were sitting on a motorcycle and making out.

"The future of the Reich," Nicole said. "Just like us." She linked her arm through mine and pulled me toward the crowd. She led me to one of the picnic tables and poured a few glasses from a pitcher.

"What is that?" Joe asked.

"Poison," Nicole said deadpan. She took a swig. "Lemonade and gin, I believe." She handed us each a glass. "Are all New Yorkers this boring? Come on live a little! We're only getting started."

I took a big gulp from my drink. "Very heavy handed with the gin. Exactly what I look for in a Tom Collins."

Nicole looked at Joe as if to say, "See, Charlotte gets it!" He shook his head at me, but accepted the glass.

"Gisèle!" A man shouted, as we headed toward the building. "Wait, Gisèle!" Nicole frowned and glanced over her shoulder. The dark haired man pushed past her and stopped in front of me. "It is you,  _heiliger scheisse_!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know you," I told him. I looked at Nicole for help.

"Oh, you're American," he realized. "I apologize, you looked like a girl I used to know."

Nicole grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. "That was very odd." She glanced around the room. It was cozy for such a large space. There was a huge fireplace and large comfortable looking sofas and chairs. "Wait here, I'll find Hans and Monika." Nicole disappeared into the crowd.

Joe looked at me curiously. "Did you know that guy?"

I glanced out the window, but he was long gone. "Athena did once," I admitted.

"He called you Gisèle, what was that about?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you think I went by Athena in the field? That would be a little obvious, hmm? I met him when I was still training with the SD. I hadn't found my niche yet. Gisèle was a French girl, studying in Berlin. It was a one night mission, I had to get a file from his father." I paused. "I had to convince him to take me home. I broke into the study while everyone was sleeping and slipped out without anyone noticing. Apparently I left an impression."

"By convince you mean-"

I held up a hand. "I had a life before you, Joe. I don't do missions like that anymore."

"Here we are!" Nicole said cheerfully. A dark haired girl wearing a beret and dark lipstick stood beside her. "Monika, meet Joe and Charlotte."

Monika smiled, and stepped toward us. "Are you ready for tonight?" she asked, taking my hands. "Ready to dive into the depths of our chaotic interiors. They say that's where the secrets of the world lie. Personally I believe the secrets lie in nature, but who I am to argue with scientists."

Joe and I shared a confused look. "Monika, don't scare off our guests," Nicole chided. Monika waved her away and looked at Joe and I expectantly. I had a feeling I was being tested in some way.

"Interior and exterior ought to be in equilibrium, don't you think? I mean, without knowing our world, how can we know ourselves?" I mused.

Monika clutched my hands tight and then whirled back around to face Nicole. "You were right, Nicki. I love them already." Joe looked at me and I shrugged.

A tall blonde guy joined us. He kissed Nicole on the cheek in greeting. "What're we talking about?" He asked.

"Environmentalism," Nicole said dismissively. "You know how Monika gets, Hans. You could sit her in front of a statue and she'd talk it's ear off for ages. We don't need to concern ourselves with it," she teased.

"We should all be concerned with the environment," Hans reprimanded. "You know, they're talking of stemming the Mediterranean. Actually, I believe Reichsminister Heusmann is heading up the project." Hans looked at Joe pointedly as he offered him a beer. Nicole looked embarrassed by her friends

"I don't know anything about it," Joe said.

"You mean Atlantropa?" I asked. Hans nodded. "I've heard about it. It sounds like a terrible idea. Doesn't the world have enough land as it is? We don't need to change the things nature has given us." I shrugged. "But, what do I know? I only took one ecology class for my degree."

"I'd love to hear more, about your degree  _and_  your opinions on Atlantropa," Hans said. He put an arm around my shoulder and steered me toward the couches.

"When I said she'd like my friends, I thought she'd be laughing at them," Nicole mumbled behind me. "Not encouraging them." I glanced over my shoulder and winked at her. She shook her head amused.

OoOoO

By sunset we had all settled in together by the fireplace. Nicole was snuggled up with Hans. They appeared to be quite close, despite her disapproving of his politics. Joe and I sat across from them. I leaned against his chest, with my legs pulled up on the couch. I felt warm and cozy, I wasn't sure how much of that was the fire and how much was the gin.

Monika spun around before landing on the ground next to me. She folded her arms on my knees and laid her head on top of them. "Do you have any experience with drugs?" She asked us.

"What kind of drugs?" Joe asked her.

"Lysergic acid," Hans said. "Have you done it?"

"Yeah, a few times," I said. Joe looked down at me surprised. I didn't explain that it hadn't exactly been recreationally.

Nicole withdrew a glass vial from her pocket. "My father's biggest seller. He only supplies it to the military, but I have my ways."

"Our parents' generation uses it for mind control," Hans explained. "Interrogating prisoners, for example."

I nodded. It was a preferred interrogation technique these days. My training had included building a tolerance to it. I held out my hand. Nicole gave me a knowing look as she tapped out an extra cube into my hand. I wasn't sure this would even be enough, but turning them down made me look like a bore. I popped them under my tongue and then glanced at Joe. "Your turn."

He looked at me for a moment. "We'll be here the whole time, don't worry," Nicole said. Finally he nodded and held out his hand, Monika gave him a cube. He took it and we all smiled.

"See you on the other side," Monika said. She lay her head back down on my knee, and I got comfortable again.

Joe leaned close to my ear. "How do you know-"

"Relax for a minute," I whispered. "You'll know."

After a while, I could tell it was working. Colors were more vibrant and the music felt like it was twisting around me in spirals. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I needed to look over my shoulder. I was safe. I was surrounded by friends.

Monika stood up and cast off her coat. She danced around the couch, swaying with the music. Her shadow seemed to separate itself from her and do a duet. She leaned over the couch and kissed me on the cheek. "Au revior, mon ami."

"You speak French?" She twirled and walked away, with a laugh that sounded like bells.

Joe sat up and looked around. At first he focused on the other people, a girl on a trapeze swung over our heads. Then he jumped, looking frightened. I didn't know what he was seeing, but he was obviously feeling the effects more than I was. "Joe, hey, look at me." I put a hand on his cheek. His eyes locked with mine, and his tension drained away. "You're okay, I'm here."

He put both his hands on my cheeks and pulled me toward him. Our lips crushed together. It was frantic and messy but I'd never felt so connected. "God, I love you, Lottie," he whispered as his lips trailed down my neck. Over his shoulder, I found Nicole leading Hans upstairs. We made eye contact and she winked.

OoOoO

I woke up on the balcony the next morning. Joe was next to me, still asleep. Hands tapped my shoulder, and I jumped. "Sorry," Nicole whispered. "I saw that you were awake. Do you want breakfast?"

"Maybe just a croissant and a mimosa?" I asked. She laughed but nodded. "And a cigarette," I whispered as she turned away.

"Oh, naturally, I assumed that was a given."

After a moment, I got up. I moved Joe's arm, careful not to wake him. I followed Nicole inside. She handed me a saucer with a croissant as I walked into the sunroom. It was empty, other than us, but the mess indicated everyone else had already come and gone. She looked me up and down as she made two mimosas. "Of the two of you, I figured it would be Joe who woke up half dressed. But,  _he_  managed to find his pants."

I looked down; I was in my underwear and Monika's coat. "Oh, no, this was a very conscious choice. I spent the whole night feeling overdressed." I motioned at my outfit. "Fixed that."

Nicole laughed and handed me a glass. "You fit in here, Monika and Hans adore you," she said. "Joe too, of course." We both glanced out on the balcony where he slept. "How was his first trip?"

"Well, he was definitely hallucinating," I told her. "And he really wanted me to know that I'd opened his eyes, whatever that meant. He kept promising he was going to be better and he must have told me he loved me at least a dozen times."

"Oh, swoon," she said putting her hand over her heart. "Hans and I had sex, then he told me how further space travel would compromise our environment." I laughed so loud I was sure I had woken Joe up. "You picked a good one."

"Yeah, I did." I took a cigarette from her case and lit up. "It hasn't always been easy. My dad was hell bent on keeping us apart, but we never let that stop us. You know, I thought I'd ruined everything. I'm the one who needs to be better, not him. I kept a huge secret from; I don't know how he looked past it."

"That you're a spy?" She asked, as she took a drag from her cigarette. I stared at her blankly. "Oh please, I saw all the signs. Your German is impeccable, I've never met another American who can adopt the accent of whoever she's speaking to. Then there was that guy who recognized you; he was dead set on you being Gisèle. But it was the drug tolerance that sealed the deal." She topped off my glass. "It also helps that I'm friends with Vesta."

I frowned. "Vesta is from Roman mythology, Keres is Greek."

She looked surprised. "Greek? Oh, you're first class then. Interesting, I didn't know they were recruiting Americans back then."

"I didn't realize there was more than one class, I thought they canceled the program."

She shook her head. "Nope, they've been working at perfecting the program for years. I heard a rumor that they're on Valkyrie now, supposedly they're going to have the largest graduating class yet."

"As in, the least number of casualties along the way," I clarified. She nodded gravely. "Was Vesta here last night?" I asked, not wanting to think about my fallen friends.

"No, she's been working a mission with the Reichstag. If you stick around Berlin for a while, I'll make sure you meet her." I frowned. "Hey, don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. I know how important it is to keep that secret. It's safe with me." She nodded outside. "I think Joe's awake. I'll take you back to Heusmann's when he's ready." She looked me up and down again and shook her head amused. "Meet me downstairs, I'm going to go find your pants."


	11. Chapter 11

Joe flopped down onto the bed and I lay down next to him. "I've never been this tired in my life," I said. He laughed. "But last night was great, so it's okay."

"I hallucinated that all the taxidermy animals came to life." I burst out laughing. "It was fucking terrifying honestly."

"It's a good thing I was there to distract you from all the scary bears," I teased.

"You were a very good distraction," he said smirking.

I shook my head. "You were so funny, you wouldn't shut up."

"Oh, yeah. I remember all that," he told me, expression growing serious again. "I feel like I have all these new standards to live up to, now that I know you're Artemis. Like, I have to be a better version of myself, you know?"

"You don't," I told him. "You're exactly the person I want, just the way you are. If I didn't think you were a good person, or whatever, I'd be long gone."

He kissed my forehead. "I love you."

I smiled. "You said that a few times too." He smiled sheepishly. "They say that you're the most yourself on that stuff, so at least I know you really do love me."

Joe scoffed. "There was a question of that?"

"No, but...I mean, a girl can never hear 'I love you' enough." I glanced over at the suit Martin had left out for Joe with a wistful sigh. "Also, I would love to see you in that suit."

"We should probably head to the Chancellery," he admitted. "But I don't want to get up."

I pushed myself up on my elbows. "Oh, come on, I need to shower and change clothes anyway. I smell like gin."

He leaned over and took a whiff. "Wow, you're right, you smell like a bar."

"Shut up, you don't smell any better." I shoved him lightly.

He laughed. "We can save water if we shower together."

"Hmm, I think that's the kind of environmentalism Hans would approve of."

OoOoO

With each passing day, I felt us become more and more comfortable in this new life. How strange that we'd found our normal in the last place we would have expected it. I knew it was dangerous to feel so at home here. Berlin would always be a viper pit, but I let myself believe we were two of those snakes.

Joe and I sat with Martin under the portico while we ate breakfast. Silvia had continued the trend of preparing massive spreads, though we never even made a dent in the food. I looked out over the view, letting out a quiet sigh. I never imagined I would look at Berlin with this sort of fondness, but here I was. "I am so glad you've both settled in here," Martin said. I turned back around with a soft smile. "It has been so long since I had a family to share all this with."

"This place could definitely grow on me," Joe said. His fingers traced over my thigh under the table. I cast a smile in his direction.

"We have a bright future ahead of us," Martin said. "I cannot wait to share it with you."

"You mean Atlantropa?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head amused, hearing the judgment in my tone. "And so much more. Once we've perfected the face of the planet, we can turn our attentions to the stars. I assure you, our scientists are working tirelessly. We want to keep the universe running like a well-oiled machine. We only seek to improve, not destroy."

The way Martin spoke was so convincing; he almost had me sold on the entire thing. I nodded once, taking his opinion into consideration. He smiled. In a way, I felt like he enjoyed the challenge. Like my father, he didn't want someone who would bow to his every whim; he wanted people who had their own wits about them. Sheep did not make good leaders.

I heard Silvia arguing with someone inside. We turned toward the door as five SS officers pushed through, guns in hand. " _Reichsminister Heusmann, come with us."_

Martin stood up with a frown, Joe and I followed. Two men stepped in front of us, preventing us from walking any further. Martin looked at the others sharply. " _They are my family, they come with me."_

The men let us pass with reluctance, and we flanked Martin as we went through the door. "Whatever happens, stay close to me," he whispered. Joe and I exchanged nervous looks. I reached for his hand instinctively, squeezing. Whatever was about to happen, we would get through it together.

OoOoO

We were taken to the Chancellery, escorted to the top floor. The secretaries stood up when we walked in, the door in front of us slowly sliding open. "Is that-?" I broke off, looking into the room.

Martin nodded once. "The Führer's office." He stepped toward and into the room. This time the men refused to let Joe and I follow. Martin nodded at us once, before the door was closed in our faces.

Joe and I took a seat across from the door. He tapped his fingers nervously against his chin. I linked my arm through his, leaning my chin on his shoulder. It felt like ages that we sat like that. We were quiet; the only noises were the taps and dings of the secretaries' typewriters.

Finally the door opened again, an officer motioned for us to make our way into the room. Martin stood in front of a man with small, round glasses. I recognized him immediately; he'd been the one to choose me for the Führer's personal team years ago.

"Josef, Charlotte, I'd like for you to meet Reichsführer Himmler," Martin said.

Himmler looked me over once, and then waved the other officers out of the room, leaving the four of us alone. "Athena, no?" I nodded once. Joe and Martin both looked at me curious. "It's a pleasure to have you back in Berlin." He walked forward to shake Joe's hand. "And a pleasure to meet you too. I look forward to seeing more of you both in the days to come."

He saluted, as did the rest of us, and left us alone in the office. The three of us all looked at each other, everyone with different questions. "Athena?" Martin repeated. "As in the Keres operative?" I nodded once. "Very interesting, I should have realized."

"You know Himmler?" Joe asked. I shrugged. "Why am I even surprised at this point?"

"Where's the Führer?" I asked, finally getting to the most important question.

Martin let out a small sigh. "The Führer is in a coma, it is unlikely he will recover. Until a permanent successor can be named, I have been chosen to act as Chancellor in his absence."

"I'd heard the rumors that he was unwell, but I didn't realize how serious it was," I said, shaking my head.

"This is not the first time this has happened," Martin explained. "But it was kept quiet. Hitler recovered and the acting Chancellor was shot, along with his entire family. It is a dangerous position to hold, but I will do my duty."

"But why? You're an engineer," Joe noted.

"And thus unthreatening," I said quiet. I'd been around my father enough to know how the game of politics worked, even if it wasn't my personal area of expertise. "If Hitler does die, there will be a power struggle. If someone like Himmler were to be acting Chancellor, it would be difficult to replace him. He'd kill for this position."

"Precisely. You've learned well, my dear." Martin nodded. "I will be blamed for everything that is bound to go wrong in the next few days."

"Maybe they'll thank you," Joe suggested.

Martin chuckled. "The American in you remains so optimistic, and naïve, Josef." He walked over, putting a hand on Joe's shoulder. "No, I want you to return to New York today. It is no longer safe here." Joe and I shared a look. "At least consider it."

OoOoO

I sat on a bench in the garden, while Joe paced. "Is he right, should we go?" He asked. I patted the seat next to me on the bench. He looked at it for a moment, before coming to sit next to me. "You know this world better than me."

"He isn't wrong, this is dangerous, Joe," I told him, lowering my voice. "If we stay, we're putting ourselves in a bad place. People like Himmler will stop at nothing for that position, and he knows who I am."

"He'll use you," Joe realized.

"When I left Berlin, mostly it was because I couldn't stomach it anymore. But not just due to what had already happened, partly because I knew what my future would hold." I shook my head softly. "I knew my father would never put me in a compromising position, he'd always look out for me. I was his best asset, but I was still his daughter. Here I would have been nothing but a weapon."

"I won't let them do that to you," he said, I could hear the anger creeping into his voice. Even though he didn't know everything, there were still things I refused to speak about, he knew enough. "You aren't that person anymore."

"I'm afraid I don't have any other choice," I murmured. "I have been Artemis for so long, but she can't help anymore not alone. But Athena, she was created to be a lone wolf." He frowned. "The resistance at home are planning a coup, the moment Hitler dies things are going to be set into motion. My entire operation there is compromised. If I stay here, at least I may have a chance to help."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Athena is necessary if we want to walk out of this alive. I know it's hard, but I'm asking you to trust me on this. I need some time to figure things out. But I can play the game." I'd fallen into a pattern these past few weeks. Even ignored things that normally would've set off alarm bells in my mind. But, I couldn't afford the luxury of complacency anymore.

Joe grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "It's never hard to trust you, Lottie." I gave him a sad smile. "But I don't want you to get hurt. If something happened to you, because of me, I don't know what'd I do."

I shook my head. It wasn't me I was worried about here. "I'll be okay, this is what I was trained for." I reached up, putting a hand on his cheek. "You'll be okay too, I won't let anything happen to you."

And so we went back inside, and I stood next to Joe while he was sworn into the party. Putting on the face of the proud fiancée, pretending that it didn't make my stomach churn to watch. I'd been fighting against these people for years, only to be standing in the middle of them, letting the man I love join their ranks.

But this was how we'd save ourselves. And at this moment, it didn't matter to me how selfish that sounded. Athena and Artemis would always be a part of me. Their loyalties to the Reich and the Resistance would always play tug of war in my mind. But Charlotte Smith would always win out in the end, and I only had loyalty to one thing: family.


	12. Chapter 12

I was at the house when I saw the broadcast, an international scandal. The American resistance had made it public knowledge that Hitler was dead, a secret the Reich had been trying to keep. It had been a few days since he’d passed, it was surprising they’d kept it quiet this long. He’d slipped away during the night, with us all watching as if it were some kind of riveting television program.

With each passing day, I felt more and more like my mother. I didn’t know how she played the part so well. I hated it. The overwhelming pressure to be the perfect Nazi woman. I’d never had that weight on my shoulders before. In New York I could get away with almost anything, but here my life depended on it. Even on assignment, it was just a game. And I’d quickly realized, perfection was boring, if I really wanted to weasel into someone’s life I had to be  _different_. I was good at that. But this required the upmost care, I had to maintain trust if I wanted to get through this in one piece.

Martin and Joe were at the Chancellery today, just like most days. I should have been with them, but I’d made lunch plans with Nicole and her friends. Mostly as an excuse to spend the morning at home. Though I was also looking forward for a moment of air around people who wouldn’t judge me for being less than perfect.

She was supposed to pick me up in less than an hour, but I had things do to first. I started to head downstairs, but stopped at the phone on my bedside table. I hadn’t spoken to my father in ages. He was probably getting hell for letting the resistance pull shit like this. It wouldn’t hurt to check in. I wasn’t near as angry as I had been when I left New York, distancing myself from him had given me new perspective. I dialed his office number, but the phone rang and rang. With a frown I tried the house phone, same thing.

I went downstairs, annoyed. “Silvia?” I called. No response, she must have gone out for groceries. I slipped down the hall toward Martin’s home office without a second thought. The door was locked, but it was easy enough to pick. I grabbed his phone, checking inside the receiver for a tap, and then tucking it under my ear, leaving my hands free for searching.

“Obergruppenführer Smith’s office, how may I help you?” Elisabeth answered. I frowned again, it appeared the whole line wasn’t down, only the phone in my room. Interesting.

“It’s Charlotte, is my father in yet?” I asked, knowing it was still rather early in New York. With the phone still tucked under my ear I started going through drawers and cabinets.

“Oh, Ms. Smith, great to hear from you. No, he isn’t in yet,” she informed me. “He left early yesterday, I’m not sure he’ll be in today. Do you want to leave a message?”

I thought for a moment, wondering what I could say over the phone that wouldn’t give too much away. “Just tell him I called, would you?” I had a feeling he’d understand. My fingers landed on a file, sliding it out and sticking it under my arm. “Thank you, Elisabeth. Have a nice day.” I hung up and perched on the desk, flipping through the folder.

I hoped that I was wrong about this. I wanted to believe Martin was a good person, a man only doing his duty to the Reich, same as John. I wanted that for Joe, he deserved to have a good man for a father. As good of a man as one could be in this world.

But I knew better than to let skeletons in closets go undiscovered. If we were to survive in a place like this, we had to look out for ourselves before anyone else.

OoOoO

The guards outside the Chancellor’s office allowed me to pass, vacating the room and leaving me alone with Joe. He glanced up with a smile that attempted to disguise his worried expression. “I thought you weren’t coming in today.”

“I heard about the broadcast,” I told him. “I figured I ought to be here for moral support.”

He nodded, walking around the table to wrap me in his arms. The tension in my shoulders melted away as soon has he touched me. I let us pretend for a moment that everything was right in the world, even though we both knew it was a lie.

“How was lunch with Nicole?” He asked, after a moment.

I ran my fingers through my hair. “Lovely, as usual. Monika and Hans are so interesting to talk to.” I laughed quietly. Truthfully I’d been rather distracted all through lunch. The folder I’d hidden in my room was burning a hole in my mind.

Joe’s eyes zeroed in on me, like he knew there was something I was holding back. Of course he’d know, he always knew. I shook my head slightly, willing him not to ask. He deserved the truth, but it was better if he didn’t have it yet. It was the only way I could be sure he was safe.

I pulled him back toward me, laying my head on his shoulder. I didn’t want to talk here anyway, too many prying ears. “I don’t know how you do it,” he whispered. “How do you stay so loyal to a cause, to an idea? It’s so abstract.”

It had never felt that way to me. The moment I saw my first film and realized I could do something to change the world, it hadn’t been abstract. My faith was so concrete I could almost reach out and grab it. But to hear him say that now was like a knife to the gut. I wasn’t doing this for any cause. In fact the Resistance would probably rather I left things alone. They wanted the world to fall into chaos, in the hopes that they could build something better from the ashes.

But I couldn’t do that now. I couldn’t let my world be ripped away from me. “I believe in you, Lottie. Not an idea, or a thing, but  _you_. Whatever you need, I’ll do it.” He ran his fingers through my hair softly, as if sensing I needed the support right now.

I leaned up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, let’s let them get on with the speech.”

We moved over to the wall, while cameras were set up and things were prepared for the announcement. Of course, the world already knew Hitler was dead. The best Martin could do now was damage control. Only I had a feeling the damage had just begun.

Martin nodded at us as he took his seat, ignoring the speech that had been laid out of the table. Whatever he was about to say, he hadn’t wanted us to see it. Joe didn’t notice, at least not at first.

Heusmann started small, explaining what we already knew. Then he delved into the territory of absurdity. Anyone could see that, but yet it would be accepted as fact. “ _It was discovered that our Füher had a rare poison in his blood. Our great leader has been assassinated._ ” I glanced over at Joe, who was frowning. “ _After further investigation, it was revealed that our closest allies, the Japanese, were behind the plot._ ”

My blood ran cold, even though I’d suspected this plan. Those folders had contained the plans for nuclear devices and stations, and much more. The Chancellor had every intention of making my home and battleground. But I intended to be a Trojan horse.

OoOoO

Joe pushed into our room, knocking the door hard against the wall with a bang. I sat up, frowning when I saw how distraught he looked. “They’re going to kill them, they’re going to kill everyone. In two weeks the Japanese Empire is going to collapse, tens of millions are going to die.” I starred. “But you already knew that, didn’t you? That’s what you didn’t want to tell me.”

I nodded. “Because I knew you’d be just as disgusted as I am. And if people looked too closely, they’d realize I know a lot more than I should.” I was purposefully left out of the meeting today. Spies had no place in war councils. For now, I was a potential asset, to be used as they saw fit. The moment they realized I’d turned my talents on them; I would no longer have that small bit of protection. And if I were gone, there’d be no one left to look out for Joe.

But he didn’t question me, even though I had the explanation prepared. He just nodded as he sat down next to me. “The Japanese will retaliate, they’ll attack Chicago, New York. People we know will die, and my father doesn’t even care.”

“They say they want to end the killing, but the killing never stops,” I whispered. My mind flashing to a memory from my childhood, still just as vivid as the day it happened. “I still remember when they dropped the bomb on DC…that can’t happen again.”

“What do we do, Lottie?”

I shook my head. “Joe, promise me you won’t get in the middle of this.”

“I’m in the middle of this already,” he protested. “Whatever you’re planning, I want to help. I need to. I can’t sit back while millions of innocent lives are taken.”

I reached out and put my hand on his cheek. “I love you so much, you know that?” He opened his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off with a kiss. My fingers running through his hair as he pulled me into his lap. I broke away, still holding him close. “All I need you to do is keep showing them who you are. Speak up; show them you don’t support this. Prove that you’re better than them.”

“Will that help?” He whispered.

“You don’t have to kill anyone to resist,” I reminded him. “You can resist sitting down, just by refusing to be what they want you to be.” I kissed his check. It might not save anyone else’s life, but when it came down to it, it could save his.

OoOoO

Silvia knocked, summoning us from the room we’d chosen to lock ourselves in. I’d already done everything I could, reached out to my contacts in the city, put in requests. But things were moving much quicker than I could keep up and soon war would be upon us. If we were all going down, I’d much rather spend what was left of my time in Joe’s arms.

But, I dragged myself out of bed, made myself presentable and headed downstairs. She didn’t name the guest, but as soon as I laid eyes on him across the room, I knew. I practically flew down the stairs and straight into his arms. “Dad,” I said in relief. Pressing my face against his shoulder, hugging him as tight as I could. “I was afraid I’d never see you again.”

He rubbed my arms. “Never count out a Smith.” He looked behind me at Joe, and then back to me. “Is there somewhere we can talk?” I nodded and led him down the hall, motioning for him to have a seat.

Instead he reached into his bag and pulled out a film. “Is it one of  _the_  films?” I asked.

“It’s proof the Japanese have the bomb,” he said, not exactly answering the question. “One just as powerful as ours.”

“Bullshit,” Joe said. I had to admit, it seemed farfetched. Which only added to my suspicion that it was one of the Grasshopper films. But, very few people knew about them, and even if they did they’d never seen one. It was the perfect trick.

“I’m trying to stop a war,” John told him. “Chancellor Heusmann doesn’t care about our home, he’s willing to let the Japanese blow the whole place up. But, we can stop him.”

I looked at Joe, pleading for him to listen. His eyes softened when he looked at me. “This is what we were looking for, someone who can push their way in and demand attention. Show them all the facts and make them  _believe_ ,” I reasoned. “They’ll never listen to you and me, but they will listen to him.”

“If it’s so important, then why don’t you just walk in and give it to him yourself?” Joe asked, glancing back at my father.

“Because they’ll arrest me,” he explained. “My orders were to stay in New York.” I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Heusmann had ordered my father to stay in the city. Despite knowing that when the Japanese retaliated he’d most likely be killed in the attack.

“Why should I trust you?” Joe asked. “You’ve lied to me since the day we met. You knew I was Lebensborn, you knew I was Heusmann’s only son. If it weren’t for that, you never would have let me near Lottie.” They both looked at me. “And even then, you still tried your best to keep us apart.”

“You’re right,” he said. “But I won’t apologize for protecting my daughter. Not only from herself, but also from Berlin. From this very situation that she’s ended up in the middle of. You must know what they’ll do with her after this. Athena, and all the others like her, will never be free in Berlin. If I’m gone, who will protect her from them?”

The words sounded so familiar, like I’d spoken them myself. We were still so alike. We’d both do anything to protect the people we loved, even if it meant lying to them or hurting them. They could hate us all they wanted, as long as they were safe.

“I’ll take it,” I said. “Screw it, they can do whatever they want to me.” I grabbed it off the table. This was what Athena did; I ousted traitors in the Reich. If that meant I would be the one to draw fire, so be it. There was a reason Athena was known as the one who fights in front.

Joe put his hand on my arm, stopping me. “ _We’ll_  take it.”


End file.
